Doubt and business seem to be two words that are never far away. Doubting yourself is so easy to do when working because there is so much pressure. You want to make sure that you do everything correct because having a job is what allows you to pay for the important things in life—a place to live, a future for your child, a car to drive. You want to make sure that your boss likes you and that you are appreciated, so doubt is almost inevitable.
Unfortunately, doubt is something that can seem difficult to shake. Doubt is one reason that someone may feel unhappy, so it’s important that if you feel like you always doubt your decisions you determine three things: Where the doubt comes from in the first place, how to get rid of self-doubt, and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Why Are You Feeling Doubtful?
There are many reasons that a person might let doubt bring him/her down. It is important to understand where your doubt started so that you can better make sure it doesn’t continually take away your happiness. Consider some of the reasons you may feel doubtful below:
You try to do too much at once, so you are unprepared.
You were/are constantly told that you were/are doing something wrong.
You were/are constantly being told that you can’t/couldn’t do something.
You are trying to take on a task that you are not qualified to complete.
As you can see, there are really two different types of doubt: One you feel because of someone or something telling you that you can’t do it and the other because you actually cannot complete the project. No matter what the reason or reasons for feeling doubtful, it needs to come to a stop so that you can be happy again!
How to Get Rid of Doubt and Start Being Happy Again
As with any problem, there are different ways to get to the answer. You must determine what is right for you in order to get back to your confident self, and in many cases this will be a few different things:
1. Make sure you really want to do whatever it is that is making you feel doubtful.
You have to be motivated to complete your task. If you think you feel doubtful because you simply are not qualified to complete a task, then the answer is to stop trying! Do not let someone, even a boss, persuade you to do something that you are not equipped to handle. A challenge is always great, but sometimes a person just flat out does not have the time to learn an entirely new skill. If someone asked me to balance the company checkbook while the accountant is on vacation, I’m going to feel doubtful because I am not qualified for that job. However, if you are really motivated to do something, this is the first step in making sure you kick those doubtful emotions.
2. Take your time and go at a speed you feel comfortable.
Many people feel doubtful because they are moving too fast. If you’re not sure what’s happening, of course you’re not going to be confident that everything is running smoothly. You want to make sure that you’re completing your task one step at a time. In the long run, this will probably save you time because you will not have to go back and fix mistakes. In the majority of cases, your boss will understand that doing something slowly and correct is better than being quick and sloppy.
3. Ask for help if you need help.
Confidence often disappears when someone tries to do something alone. If you need help, it’s important to ask for help. Nobody is going to see this as a problem, so it’s important to get over your fear of asking questions. Even if you don’t have a question, just have someone look over your work when you’re finished before you submit it to your boss. It is always easier for someone else to see your mistakes, so take confidence in this.
How to Make Sure You Stay Happy by Overcoming Doubt
The truth is—it can be difficult to always feel confident. Do not get discouraged if sometimes you feel doubtful, but rather do what you can to remain happy. After all, feeling doubtful about feeling doubtful is not going to solve your problem! You want to make sure that you ask questions, take your time, and make sure you have the right motivation for the task at hand. Try and surround yourself with people that make you feel confident, and lean on them if things get stressful and overwhelming.
Have you ever felt doubtful at work and let it affect your overall happiness? What did you do to solve the problem?
Amanda DiSilvestro is a writer on topics ranging from social media to background checks. She writes for an online resource that gives advice on topics including phone systems to small businesses and entrepreneurs for a lead generation company, Resource Nation.
Yes, I said anything. Nothing is too big. But it helps to take it one step at a time.
Over three decades ago, 16-year old Jadav “Molai” Payeng came across a swarm of dead snakes washed onto a bare sandbar in a flood India’s Assam region. “The snakes died in the heat, without any tree cover. I sat down and wept over their lifeless forms,” Jadav.
Whereas most people would stop at the weeping (if they ever got even that far), Jadav didn’t stop there. Instead, he planted a tree. Then he planted another. And another. And he kept planting trees. The barren sandbar is now a thriving forest of 1360 acres – including such wildlife as rhinos,tigers, apes, elephants and deer. The Assistant Conservator of Forests, Gunin Saikia, believes this is the biggest forest in the middle of a river in the world.
Just one man planted every single tree. Each one from seed. Year after year.
He lives now in the forest that bears his name, selling cow and buffalo milk for a living. He moved in as a teenager so that he could oversee the project directly.
Financial woes can take its toll on anyone. Increasing stress levels and pressure on one’s personal and professional life can be just the beginning for some people. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though.
Baby Steps
You might be in some financial pressure. Or, on the other side of the scale, you might be on the cusp of bankruptcy. Financial stress is nothing to ignore.
For those of us who have experience trying financial times, it is not easy. After all, financial concerns can cloud one’s future and alter one’s confidence. There can be a sense of failure that takes its toll as well.
image courtesy of Andrew Kitzmiller
One of the best things that can be done in this situation is to take it one step at a time. You aren’t going to come up with a three-month plan to get out of your $25,000 debt situation on a $34,000 salary. It isn’t going to happen. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to accept your current situation, and the accompanying stress/pressure involved.
Take some small steps that can give you some confidence, moving forward:
• Here and Now: What can you do today to get on the right track? Take a long and hard look at your budget. Sell unneeded items and/or downsize across the board (home, car, and “stuff”). You can accept the frugal lifestyle today.
• Microcosm: Take your big goals and then shrink them – a lot. These smaller goals will help you stay motivated and remain on the right track. They can spell success and keep you headed there for good.
• Dedication: Can you stay on track with your plan? What will it take to meet your stringent eating out guidelines needed to get out of debt? Whether you need mini-budgets posted on the fridge for motivation, or something else, you need to stay dedicated.
A Word on Stress
You have to keep your head up. Allowing financial concerns and stress to enter your mind is natural. However, you shouldn’t allow it to overwhelm you.
Look to separate your financial situation from other things. While you might be saying that this is impossible, due to lack of available funds to “enjoy” the finer things, there is a point to that. However, when you take financial stressors seriously, you can learn to live frugally. You can enjoy free and cheap ways to go out and stay home – and still have a great time.
Execute the car insurance comparison to save some money. Look at term deposit rates once you get out of debt. However, whether you are struggling in debt or finally out of it (permanently!), learn to manage financial pressure and your regular life. Don’t let the numbers get to your head.
Keep your head up. There are plenty of ways to make your current situation more manageable. When you’re not engaged in these, try to separate yourself from that world. Even if you’re looking at a long hard road out of debt, you don’t have to let it consume your thoughts and life.
Brian Neese is a personal finance and insurance blogger who writes for Home Loans Australia.
We have a lesson to offer from the third of three songs our daughters performed at their singing lessons end-of-classes performance for parents and families.
Chantalyne sang “Chasse Galerie” by Claude Dubois. It is a song that demands a powerful voice. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in an earlier post, two days before the show we feared she would have to bow out, as her voice had not yet returned after a hacking cough that had commandeered much her past three weeks.
Her voice did return, although not quite as strong as normal and not quite as strong as it should have been for this number. Don’t get me wrong – she sang it very well and it was one of the better singing performances there. But it was not her best.
Nevertheless, her performance was riveting. And at the very end of the song, she delivered what we refer to as the “show stopper” moment.
There is more to everything than meets the eye. There is more to a great sports performance than just coming in first. How you play the game is just as important. How you behave off the field counts, too. How you treat other people. What else you do with your life.
And there is more to singing than just singing.
Watch the video and see why we call this such a show stopper. Then think about all the things you are trying to achieve in your life – land a new job or change careers, upgrade your home or move, build a new relationship or strengthen an old one – and figure out what other aspects you might be overlooking. What else goes into success besides the obvious? What else can you do that others won’t expect to add value? To catch their attention? To impress them? To win them over?
Lyrics to Chasse Galerie
À force de rester dans la forêt à s’ennuyer
Le diable est venu les tenter
Il fallait deux semaines
Quand la glace s’était en aller
En canot pour s’en retourner
C’était déjà l’hiver les grands froids
Nous mordait les pieds
Impossible de s’en aller
C’était déjà Noël le Nouvel An montrait son nez
Tous les hommes voulaient s’en aller
Le diable guettant comme un rapace son gibier
Vint leur offrir tout un marché
Dans un canot dans le plus grand que vous ayez
Installez-vous là sans bouger
Quand minuit sonnera ton canot d’un coup bougera
Il s’élèvera pour t’emporter
Mais si l’un d’entre vous après la fête terminée
Manque le bateau vous périrez
Et chez le grand Satan vous irez brûler ignorés
Ignorés pour l’éternité
Le canot s’éleva jusqu’au ciel ils furent emportés
Jusqu’à leur village tant aimé
Chacun revint une fois la fête terminée
Sauf le dernier sans y pensé
Posant le pied en embarquant s’est retourné
C’est retourné sans y penser
Alors le grand Satan dans un tourbillon de brasier
Tous et chacun à emporter
Le plus jeune d’entre eux
Le plus méfiant le plus peureux
Gardait comme un bijou précieux
Une prière à tuer les diables de la terre
Et quand il l’eut enfin citée
Comme des étoiles furent soudainement libérées
Devant leur cabane isolée
In our last post, we pulled a lesson from Chantalyne’s opening number at the end-of-singing-lessons concert last week.
Part-way through, our younger daughter Lauralee sang “Si Dieux Existe” by Claude Dubois. Unlike our elder limelight-lover, Lauralee is shy of the spotlight. She has been dancing on stage for years, but always as part of a group. Singing on her own in front of a crowd? No thanks.
Really, no thanks. She did not even want to participate.
She loves to sing, usually half under her breath while playing with Barbie dolls. And she loves her singing lessons, but she had to be convinced to sing on a stage in front of strangers.
When she got up on stage, she was as nervous as most of the others, but once she started singing, she forgot the crowd and her angelic voice – yes, angelic as ever – came through with no nervousness or straining in it.
Yes, the lesson from this one is pretty predictable. If you overcome your fear, just do it anyway, you’ll be an angel. No, wait, that’s not quite the lesson. Face your fears and you will succeed. You can do it! Whatever your apprehensions, just do it anyway.
That’s the lesson.
(Sorry about the video – the camera was playing games, so we only have the second half of her performance recorded.)
Lyrics to Si Dieux Existe
Personne, il n’y a plus personne
Mon âme qui s’affole
En prenant son envol
Me laisse inanimé
Personne, j’ai besoin, j’ai personne
Mon être dégringole
Tous mes sens m’abandonnent
Je ne sais pas si j’ai peur
Je regarde d’en haut
Le corps de ton esprit
Nos visages à l’envers
Tout petit, tout petit
Refrain:
Si Dieu existe et qu’il t’aime
Comme tu aimes les oiseaux
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Tu peux marcher enfin sur les étoiles, aspiré
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Personne, il n’y a plus personne
Mon âme qui s’affole
En prenant son envol
Me laisse inanimé
Personne, j’ai besoin, j’ai personne
Mon être dégringole
Tous mes sens m’abandonnent
Je n’sais pas si j’ai peur
Tu regardes d’en haut
Le corps de ton Esprit
Nos visages à l’envers
Tout petit, tout petit
Refrain:
Si Dieu existe et qu’il t’aime
Comme tu aimes les oiseaux
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Tu peux marcher enfin sur les étoiles, aspiré
Comme un fou, comme un ange.
Last week, my two daughters performed before the collected parents and families of their singing class at the Maison des Arts in Embrun. Thirteen kids ( 8-14 years old), one adult, eighteen songs, lots of fun.
And lessons, always lessons.
As I was playing back the video recordings we made, I realized there was a lesson to be learned from each of them. So there were lessons from these singing lessons.
In the video below, Chantalyne sings “Destin” by Celine Dion, the opening number at the show. It was a good choice to open with, because she got the crowd revved up – not that a crowd composed of the various singers’ families really needed revving up.
It was, in our opinion, the best singing performance of the evening. This is where you are supposed to nod your head wisely and say to yourself, “He will now lecture us on the virtues of hard work and perseverance and practice to achieve excellence.”
Well, not quite. You see, in the three-and-a-half weeks prior to the show, Chantalyne spent the first week and the third week sick, some of it with fever and all of it with a horrible, hacking, bronchial cough. In fact, two days before the show, we feared she would have to bow out, as her voice had not yet returned and the coughing continued only partially abated.
She really had very little time to practice.
But since you came here expecting a lecture on the virtues of hard work and perseverance to achieve excellence, who am I to disappoint? In fact, there was a lot of hard work building her voice up in general prior to getting sick, over a period of months. She took formal voice lessons twice a week. She practiced at home. She worked hard.
And once the fever was gone, she started to practice without her voice. You see, there are three things a singer need to be able to deliver:
The words – she needs to know the lyrics backwards and forwards.
The timing – she needs to know exactly when to jump in (not a tenth of a second too soon or too late) and the exact pace to match the music.
The voice – she needs to be on-key for every note
So while still sick, she started working on the lyrics and on the timing under her breath. Yes, perseverance is worthwhile. Don’t let a little thing like a missing voice keep you from singing. Or crutches keep you from running. Or a poor memory keep you from whatever. Figure out what you can do, and just start doing it.
Lyrics to Destin
Ya pas de voiles aux volets de mes frères
Ya pas d’opale autour de mes doigts
Ni cathédrale où cacher mes prières
Juste un peu d’or autour de ma voix.
Je vais les routes et je vais les frontières
Je sens, j’écoute et j’apprends je vois
Le temps s’égoutte au long des fuseaux horaires
Je prends, je donne avais-je le choix?
Refrain:
Tel est mon destin
Je vais mon chemin
Ainsi passent mes heures
Au rythme entêtant des battements de mon coeur.
Des feux d’été je vole aux sombres hivers
Des pluies d’automne aux été indiens
Terres gelées aux plus arides déserts
Je vais, je viens ce monde est mien
Je vis de notes et je vis de lumière
je virevolte à vos cris, vos mains
La vie m’emporte au creux de tous ses mystères
je vois dans vos yeux mes lendemains
Refrain:
Je vais les routes et je vais les frontières
Je sens, j’écoute et j’apprends je vois
Le temps s’égoutte au long des fuseaux horaires
Je prends, je donne avais-je le choix?
Je prends le blues aux signaux des répondeurs
Je prends la peine aux aéroports
Je vis l’Amour à des kilomètres ailleurs
Et le bonheur à mon téléphone.
Refrain:
Tel est mon destin
Je vais mon chemin
Ainsi passent mes heures
Au rythme entêtant des battements de mon coeur.
It’s not Wendy’s. It’s not McDonald’s. It’s not the Colonel. It’s…
… your freezer.
Yes, fast food is as close as your freezer. The appeal of fast food is that it is fast. No cooking. No time spent cooking. No cleaning twenty pots and twenty pans. But it does cost a bit – certainly much more than eating in.
Sure, it’s fun to make a Nasi Briani stir fry, and much cheaper than eating out, but fast food is – fast!
But so is your freezer.
What? Your freezer has tubs of ice cream, frozen peas and something that looks like it once was gravy? Or spaghetti? Or something?
Next time you cook Nasi Briani, spaghetti sauce, any casserole or dish, cook lots. Cook enough for five or six meals. Cook two different dishes at the same time (many of the ingredients might be the same, so you need only grate cheese or chop tomatoes once for two dishes (10-12 meals).
Eat one of the dishes – that’s your supper. Yum.
Once the others have cooled enough, separate them into 9-11 containers. Label each with what is in the container – including the date it was frozen, so you can keep track and not leave it too long (ideally, eaten within 6-8 weeks.
Nasi Briani with rice One portion April 23, 2012
FRUGAL: So a traditional fast food meal that might cost something like ten dollars to eat, will cost you more like three dollars at home. Not much of a dent in your budget for one day, but if you can replace 100 meals a year this way, you have saved about $700. When you factor in taxes, that’s like getting close to $1000 raise!
GREEN: Have you ever given a moment to really review how much paper and plastic and foam you throw away after eating at a fast food restaurant? No? I don’t blame you. It’s enough to make anyone who hopes for a future on this planet churl their stomach. Save the planet at your own, personal fast food outlet – your freezer.
HEALTH: It’s no secret that traditional fat food – oops, I mean “fast” food – is not exactly very healthy. Loaded in fats and sugars, and bearing little resemblance to anything Mother Nature has grown for us, fast food has been fingered as to blame for much of America’s obesity epidemic.
PERSONAL: Do you want food prepared just for you, the way you like it. Freezer fast food is 100% customizable. Put in what you want. Nothing more. Nothing less. Like t spicy? Like it mild? Want a big portion? Want a small portion? You decide how you will serve yourself.
Fast food in the comfort of your home, made exactly the way you like it, easy on the planet, easy on your body, easy on your pocket book. Time to check your freezer fast food.
A story that recently made it into pretty much every news outlet from Florida to Pakistan was how 80 year old Helen Collins remained calm as she made an emergency crash landing in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. (It skidded down the runway for 1000 feet before coming to an abrupt halt.)
The Cessna her husband had been flying.
When he suffered a heart attack.
With one operating engine.
With barely enough fuel.
Her son, Richard, a trained pilot, guided his mother down from the control tower. “She was calmer than everybody on the ground. She had it totally under control,” Richard Collins said. “The amazing thing is she landed that plane on one engine – I don’t know if there are a lot of trained pilots that could do that. I already knew I lost my dad; I didn’t want to lose my mom. It could have been both of them at once.”
Yes, you can accomplish amazing things when you put your mind to it. Don’t sell yourself short.
Which of these three animals pays more for his groceries?
A) The beaver
B) The moose
C) The giraffe
If you guessed the moose, you are right. But do you know why?
Manufacturers fight hard for eye-level space in grocery stores, pharmacies, hardware stores and other retail outlets. They often pay for the space. Retailers, for their part, want to place those items that earn them the biggest profits (the highest mark-up) at eye level. This is because of: “The Rule of Lazy”. Which states that people will look where it is easiest to look, in other words, at eye level.
What this means is that anything at eye level has the highest mark-up. And guess who pays that markup? Poor Mr. Moose. The can of beans that the giraffe buys from the top shelf and the can of beans that the beaver buys from the bottom shelf will have less of a marketing fee tacked onto the price than the can of beans that the poor moose will end up buying.
You can look high and low and never find the meaning of life. But you will find a cheaper can of beans.
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