Self-Help Happiness Blog

Over on my other blog, we are having a discussion of reputation and integrity.  Be the reputation you want to have.  It is a matter of integrity. 

But integrity is not just about reputation.  It is about being at one with yourself.  Wheneyour values and your actions are out of sync with each other, there is no way you can be happy.  Of course, we all have some misalignments when we do things that are not in sync with our values, but if you stay pretty close and generally can say tat you believe in the things you are doing, your path to happiness is much, much smoother. 

Good news? Bad news? It all depends on how you look at things.

Consider the following factual news that could send a pessimist around the bend and over the edge:

POVERTY: Almost half of the world’s population earns a below-average income.

ILLITERACY: If current trends continue, by 2022 almost every child born will be illiterate.

DISEASE: Fully 98 percent of people are at risk of getting cancer.

DEATH: By 2060, at current mortality rates, two out of every three people in the world will be dead.

See? It pays to be optimisitc, no matter how bleak the news might seem.

New Brunswick has done it again, once more making happiness news.  Maclean’s reports that Saint-John is home to Canada’s happiest people.  In 2007, New Brunswick scored happiest among Canadian provinces in the Relative Happiness Index.

I am sure this will help boost their moods as they clean up after the unusual spring floods.

I am starting a special blogroll just for blogs specifically about happiness and positivity.  The list below will grow automatically over time, and I uinvite anyone with a happiness blog or a positive thinking blog to join the blogroll.  There are three steps to do this.  First, make sure your blog qualifies:

1. The topic of the blog must be happiness or positive thinking.*
2. Please the following code in your sidebar, in a page linked directly from your sidebar or in a post linked directly from your sidebar. 
3. Email me with the location of the blogroll on your website.  I can be reached by going to http://www.thehappyguy.com/contact-The-Happy-Guy.html
4. Once approved, I will add your site.
5. I suggest you create a post announcing that you have joined this blogroll and post a link to this page for others interested in joining.  All our blogs will get more traffic as a result.

*Please note that this is NOT a blogroll for general psychology blogs, general self-improvement blogs or blogs about overcoming a specific disease or condition.

Here is the current list of happiness and positive thinking blogs

Watching my parents age, especially my father, is very instructive. OK, that’s the mild term for it. Nobody can watch their parents age without undergoing a whirlwind of emotions.

Just as we see so much of ourselves in our children, even our own hope for the future and carrying on our own legacy, so, too, we see so much of ourselves in our parents and we see them paving a path that bears our name on it, as well.

What I am mostly seeing now is my father unable to climb stairs or lift his foot high enough to get into the bathtub. Yes, simple things. Everyday movements. Things we take for granted without even giving it a second thought.I have never been afraid of dying (although I find it pretty surrealistic trying to imagine a world without me - not being interpreted through my own perspective), but I confess to being afraid of going old. I have always said that I don’t want to slowly waste away - just drop a piano on my head. I don’t even want to see it coming.

Of course, watching my parents lose their mobility stirs certain emotions in me.

But one surprising emotion that has appeared is gratitude. Yes. My father is showing me how blessed I am (and hopefully will remain for another half a century) to be able to walk without even thinking about it. To run. To jump. To chase my kids through the forest. To dig in the garden. To do my morning push-ups. Yes! Whatever you take for granted - that’s what deserves appreciating and cheering for the most.

And he is motivating me like nothing ever has before to keep fit. To not let fatigue or overscheduling keep me from at least carrying on some strength and flexibility exercises. This, too, is a very good thing.

NOTE: A previous article on self-esteem and aging gracefully that I wrote…um…how long ago? Gee, I’m racing toward my aging years a lightening speed!

While the Daily Dose of Happiness is on a temporary hold (testing of the new system is going well, so it should not have to wait much longer) I thought I would share this letter with you:

Hello Happy Guy;
 
I have been receiving your daily doses for some time now and every once in a while you get that ONE that just sticks to you like peanut butter.  I am having a tough time at my current job and had a situation yesterday with an Executive Level Employee.  My first instinct to his condescending comment to me was to lash out and get angry; but just as fast as my instinctual reaction, came the recall of this dose….  Needless to say, I did not allow this person to be my master!  I just smiled and killed him with a very polite comment and he was completely thrown off and I walked away with my head held high.
 
It’s definitely a learning process, but without this dose, I would probably still be obsessing over it.
 
Thank you! 

I say Bravo.  Life is about choosing how you want to live, how you want to act, how you want to react.  Don’t let someone else push your buttons.  They are your buttons; you push them!

 

Look at how many people live on less than $2 per day!  This is incredible.  Imagine living on what would buy you no more than a handful of rice and beans and perhaps a glass of milk.  No clothes.  No shelter.  No vehicle.  Not even Internet access.

OK, that’s not completely true.  Many of these people have makeshift houses they build themselves.  And many of them have access to in-season fruits and vegetables.  And most do have some meager clothing.  But none of them will be reading this — even those who can read — because Internet is not something even within their world.

Do I mention this to make you sad?  No, quite the contrary.  You should feel lucky, blessed, fortunate and generous as a result of the blessings you have.  Enough of the “if only I had…” or “if only I could…” or “I just have to get one of those…”  We are all living in the lap of luxury, even most of those who are labeled “poor” have more than the majority of people living today, and an even greater majority of people living throughout history.

In her latest newsletter, Lynda Goldman tells of a trip to LA where she got on a bus expecting a tour of the city…until she started seeing signs for the airport. 

“He apologized, and said he always told people that we were on a collector bus to meet our tour. Because he did this every day, he assumed he had told us what we needed to know.  What a bad start to the tour. Instead of being happy passengers, we were all filled with anxiety, not knowing where we were going. ”

I know I am often guilty of this.  Guilty.  Guilty.  Guilty.  It is so important not to assume that other people know what we are thinking.  Why take the chance of creating stress, having to redo things or simply making people feel bad.

Let’s communicate.