A father and his son, a young adult, were driving to the cottage. The father was worried, because his son had fallen into companionship with people who might lead him astray, and he was trying to help his son see that it was time for him to take his life a little more seriously.
“Aw, dad, I know you mean well, and I know I’m not really doing you proud, but I like to party. I’ll get on the right track some day. I don’t need to worry.”
They drove a little further, when suddenly the son said, “Hey dad, that was the turnoff for the cottage. You missed the turnoff.”
“I know,” said the father. “I think I’ll just keep driving this way for a while. I can always go back later to take the right road.”
A few more minutes – and a couple turnoffs – passed. The son began to think of the swimming he would miss if they arrived too late. “Dad, the farther you go down this road, the longer it will take to get back.”
The father replied, “That’s true. The further you go down the wrong track, the harder it is to get back. So when were you thinking of turning your life around to head down the right track?”
Where do you want to go? What do you want out of life? Most importantly, what are you waiting for?
As a follow-up to yesterday’s blog post on dying to be happy, I thought I would share with you the lyrics from Tim McGraw’s song, “Live Like You Were Dying”, which just played on Y101 A few minutes ago.Â
He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how’s it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what’d you do
and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn�t
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn’t such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I’d do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what’d you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
I am a big fan making the jump. Too many people stay in the “comfort zone” of a job they hate, wishing they could just get out. Well, surprise - they can!
I left a job that I liked, but which had some very compelling aspects that I did not like. As the public spokesperson for CAA Ontario, I needed to be available nearly 24-7 for the media, which among other things meant staying in my 800 square-foot downtown Toronto condo. That’s not a lot of space for me, my wife, my office and our new baby.
So we made a lifestyle choice to move to the country, which meant quitting that job and making it on our own. Neither my wife nor I had an ounce of entrepreneurial blood in our veins, but we made that jump. I called many people I had worked with while in Toronto, and several of them were in awe, saying, “I wish I could leave my job.”
You can.  You just have to decide you want it enough.Â
Here is a great blog post on the top 10 excuses why people stay in jobs they don’t like:Â
The following story is published with permission of Dick Warn.
With two runners on base, Sara Tucholsky (playing for Western Oregon University) hit her first home run ever. However, she passed first base without even touching it. When she realized her error she stopped, turned, and her knee gave out. Painfully she crawled back to first base.
If any coach, trainer or fellow team member were to touch her while she lay there she would be called out. When the umpire arrived, he said a pinch runner could be called in, but her homer would count as only a single, with two runs batted in.
Hearing what the umpire said, Central Washington’s first baseman asked, “Would it be okay if we (as she pointed to a team member) carried her and she touched each of the bags?”
Nothing in the rule book said that opposing players couldn’t. So, two of Central Washington’s players lifted Sara and carried her to second, third and home, allowing her to touch each base.
As they reached home plate, the odd looking trio was laughing, everyone in the stands was on their feet clapping, and the entire Western Oregon team was in tears.
Sara’s home run helped end Central Washington’s trip to their conference finals and their season was over.
Thinking back on what they had done, Liz Wallace, Central’s shortstop, said, “We didn’t know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run.”
And, Mallory Holtman, record-setting first baseman in her final year with Central’s team, said, “In the end, it is not about winning or losing. It is about this girl. She hit it over the fence and she was lying there in extreme pain. She deserved that home run.”
Michele Moore of The Happiness Habit is an interesting blogger. What do I mean by “interesting”?Â
In modern times, this overused and trampled word is a void-filler. Two people lost for words at a conference will say, “Whadaya think will happen?” “Dunno.” “Should be interesting.” “Yup, should be interesting.” “Yup, interesting all right.”
The ancient Chinese had a curse: “May you live in interesting times.”
But when I say “interesting”, I actually mean “interesting”. (Sorry to disappoint you.) Her posts are refreshingly controversial and thought provoking.  Here are just a few examples:
It is this last one that most intrigues me, in Is Happiness for Everyone?, we see a mug shot of a smiling Steve Jobs glaring smugly at the title, as if he knows something we don’t. The question Michele raises is not so much whether happiness is for everyone as much as whether the pursuit of happiness is for everyone.
“For some of us other things are more important than happiness… security, social significance, power, prominence, or perhaps creativity or making a lasting, important, indelible impact or contribution.”
People pursuing power or creativity, for example, are not necessarily unhappy. The pursuit of these goals might be what makes them happy. But the pursuit of happiness might not. For others, the pursuit of happiness is everything. But there is a catch for those pursuing power, creativity and even happiness; one person might be almost completely satisfied with his life chasing whatever he wants to chase, because his happiness is in the chase. Another person might follow the exact same path, but be totally miserable, because his happiness is in the “if only” that he will never catch. If only I had power. If only I could be a little more creative. If only I could achieve this, I will be happy.Â
If only’s never make a person happy. Enjoying the journey, the pursuit of power, the drive for creativity, the gathering of happiness; these are the motors that drive our happiness.
In an article entitled Money tilts the happiness scale, a persuasive argument is made that money and happiness are connected. More specifically, wealth and happiness. The article suggests that with wealth comes the ability to spend more time doing things we really enjoy, rather than things that are unpleasant (such as earning income). If money buys a housekeeper, for example, that eliminates time spent doing housework. If, on the other hand, money buys a fancy car and you still have to do the housework, the money probably hasn’t made you any happier.
It should be noted that “work” is one of those activities that does not bring most people happiness, so the pursuit of money is not the pursuit of happiness. Wealth, not income, is positively correlated with happiness.
When you spend a lot of time talking about happiness, one can forget that sadness has value, too. One thing I have always told people is that it is OK to mourn a loss. It is not just “normal”, but it is necessary.
What is not necessary is to remain in a rut of sadness and self-pity. One needs to mourn, then push the sadness aside and get on with making the most of this wonderful world we live in. The object of our mourning needs to be transformed from a sadly-missed part of our present to a wonderfully-remembered part of our past.
There is an interesting article on happiness versus sadness in Newsweek right now. Interestingly, the article makes a case for happiness, but not too much of it over the long run. Here is a quick excerpt:
On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is extremely happy, 8s were more successful than 9s and 10s, getting more education and earning more. That probably reflects the fact that people who are somewhat discontent, but not so depressed as to be paralyzed, are more motivated to improve both their own lot (thus driving themselves to acquire more education and seek ever-more-challenging jobs) and the lot of their community (causing them to participate more in civic and political life). In contrast, people at the top of the jolliness charts feel no such urgency.
What do you do with your free time? Is it productive? I don’t mean by “productive” whether it makes money or builds something. Here is a checklist for your downtime activity:
- Does it get your heart rate pumping?
- Does it make you think in new ways?
- Does it improve the world?
- Does it deepen friendships?
If not, maybe it’s time to rethink how you spend your free time.
Here is a little something from Jagad Guru Chris Butler:
“In his book Small Is Beautiful, noted British economist E. F. Schumacher wrote:
Insights of wisdom … enable us to see the hollowness and fundamental unsatisfactoriness of a life devoted primarily to the pursuit of material ends, to the neglect of the spiritual. Such a life necessarily sets man against man and nation against nation, because man’s needs are infinite and infinitude can be achieved only in the spiritual realm, never in the material.* Â
It is a fact that no matter how much sense gratification a person gets, he will never be satisfied. Material food, material things, material sense gratification cannot satisfy the atma (spirit soul). Just as the body needs material food, so the spirit soul needs spiritual food. To try to satisfy one’s spiritual craving with material things leads to endless consumption, greed, envy, violence, and war. Western people have as much sense gratification as one could ever want, yet they are not satisfied. Why? Because they are spiritually empty.”
I just returned from church. Yes, it’s almost noon on a Wednesday, but my daughter’s class was singing the opening song, so I played hookie. I can do this because I am my own boss as an SEO consultant and running a freelance writer agency.Â
Which brings me to my original point. I chose to work for myself and to work from home in order to be avaialble to do the things I want to do most during this phase of life, while my young kids are getting less young at what seems like the speed of light. That will not be my priority in ten years, but it is now.
Think about your life and your career. Are they in sync? If not, maybe you can align them better.Â
THEHAPPYGUY.COM: ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PERSONAL GROWTH WEBSITES ON THE INTERNET SELF-HELP HAPPINESS: ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PERSONAL GROWTH BLOGS ON THE INTERNET
