Self-Help Happiness Blog

Imagine you are driving down the road, half paying attention, half listening to the radio or reviewing the grocery list in your mind or steaming over some injustice at work or doing whatever you usually do while driving.  (Yes, most people pay only half attention while driving down a familiar road.)

All of a sudden you see something happen on the road.  There is a car or a truck or a bus that is spinning out of control.  Or traffic has suddenly – very suddenly! – come to a screeching halt.  Or you hear the sound of CRASH! right behind you.  Before you even have time to react, you feel the sudden lunge of your car as it is hit or as it hits something else.

It all happens so fast, you can’t even be sure what happens.  But you are in pain.  The details will vary from crash to crash, but such are the stories of people filing claims for personal injury.  Even in cases of whiplash, people don’t always know what happened, because it usually hits them from behind.  People filing claims due to whiplash might not even remember all the details, because the pain might not kick in for a few days.

Their stories may differ, but their emotions don’t.

• Crashes place stress on a person.
• Injury places stress on a person.
• The legal system places stress on a person.

Happiness After Personal Injury

There are ways to rebuild your happiness after the crash. Here are a few tips to recover emotionally:

Call in the troops.

Your friends and family are there to support you, so now is the time to ask for help.  Let them help you consider your options.  let them listen to your thoughts and feelings.  let them laugh with you – yes, go out and have some fun with friends and family.  Do things that are less painful, of course, but you need positive company to regain your strength.

Dive deep.

You are wonderful.  Yes, I am talking to you.  Whether you are hang gliding off the coast of Madagascar or sitting in pain on your  sofa at home, you are wonderful.  The crash is just a situation; it is not you.  The pain is just a situation; it is not you.  The legal process is just a situation; it is not you.  What really counts is you – who you are deep inside.  Focus on yourself, on who you are, on your values.  These have not changed.  This is your rock.

Look ahead.

In most cases, the pain will go away and the injury will heal.  Or, you will learn to cope with the pain and manage your life with the injury.  Sooner or later the lawyers will leave and hopefully you will have the extra money that you need to put your life back together.  Imagine yourself past the trauma, part the anger – really, close your eyes an envision enjoying life when the doctors and lawyers have packed up their bags and gone.

Do you buy greeting cards for the people closest to you? Why not make them instead? Oh, sure, you won’t create a work of art or make some witty saying like those store-bought greeting cards. But it’s not for art or wit that you are giving the card, right?

A hand-made card shows that you took the time to do something special for your loved one. Let me repeat that with the right emphasis: A hand-made card shows that YOU took the time to do something special for your loved one.

You wouldn’t outsource your hugs. You wouldn’t outsource your hand shakes. You wouldn’t outsource your kisses or your smiles or your phone calls. Don’t outsource your greeting cards to some factory somewhere. Make your own and show that they really do come from the heart.  From your heart.

Taken from today’s Daily Dose of Happiness

I am copying this straight from a pass-around email I received recently.  It’s good, so I thought I would share it with you.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions.Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

There is another excuse – oops, I mean another “reason” – why you should spend some time on Twitter or Digg or FaceBook or MySpace.

A recent study of 268 Michigan State University students reveals that those who use Facebook.com have higher self-esteem than students who don’t because they keep in closer touch with their friends.

Not surprisingly, the benefits of social media participation were most pronounced for thsoe who experience low self-esteem.  Social media gives them a means of entering into more productive interactions than they sometimes encounter in real life.  In fact, it allows them to easily make friends.

Does that mean that virtual friendships should take the place of real friendships?  Not at all.  But a healthy dose of virtual socialization makes a great supplement for people who are not already overly socially extended in real life.  In fact, it’s ideal for people like me who work from home.  But before heading out to Twitter or FaceBook or Digg, you might want to read this work-from-home fasion Q&A.  After all, you don’t want to meet new friends on Twitter wearing the wrong pattern pajamas, do you?

You can read the complete report on social media and self-esteem at http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol12/issue4/ellison.html .

reTWEET this.

A recent Tweet from @zoomit:

A friend is someone you can disagree with without affecting the relationship. Hmm, that pretty much describes an enemy, too.

Here comes an idea from Stephanie Agresta, the “Internet Geek Girl”.  On April3, she celebrated Good People Day.  Now, I checked this up on several of my calendars, and it does appear that this is just something she made up out of thin air.  Call it a novelty, a new invention, a groundbreaking idea. 

I have long advocated that Thanksgiving Day is the most important day of the year, and this is like a subset – albeit a very important subset – of showing appreciation.  It is a chance to honor and show appreciation for people outside of the customary “obligation” cards or gifts of Christmas or other well-established holidays.

How would you celebrate Good People Day? 

Those Maclean’s Interviews certainly can be enlightening.  Here is an excerpt from a recent interview with the famous investment guru, Warren Buffet.

Q: And personal relationships, you’ve had great ones in your life. 

A: Yeah, I’ve been very lucky. 

Q: …your family, your kids, closest associates.  Is that, again, something that you’ve had to work especially hard on, or have you been just lucky. 

A: No, that flows, basically, and you’re lucky.  And of course I’ve got 77 years so you make more friends as life goes along.  I was just at a group of 41 of them last week; we meet every couple of years.  If you’ve got great friends you’re not going to be an unhappy guy. 

Friendship is indeed a key ingredient to happiness.  Support, social interaction, a sense of belonging. 

Read our friendhip poem here.