Self-Help Happiness Blog

To acquire happiness you don’t have to do anything, because happiness cannot be acquired. Does anybody know why? Because we have it already. How can you acquire what you already have? Then why don’t you experience it? Because you’ve got to drop something. You’ve got to drop illusions. You don’t have to add anything in order to be happy; you’ve got to drop something. Life is easy, life is delightful. It’s only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings. Do you know where these things come from? From having identified with all kinds of labels! ~ Anthony De Mello

Happiness is an incidental happening when we are in harmony with life itself. It is something we become aware of whilst pursuing other things instead of pursuing happiness itself. Happiness will not stand still long enough for you to reach its destination. It will always be an elusive pursuit if you are looking to acquire its presence, it will always be the goal or project you cannot complete, it will always be hidden from you in plain sight, and it will always be lying on the grass on the other side of the fence if you believe the grass you lay on is not as bright, vivid, brilliant or intense.

Happiness is the thing you can never enjoy or appreciate if you think you have found it, because happiness is not anything you can find, it is a thing that finds you whilst you are looking for something else. May your happiness find you living in peace and harmony, dancing in the rain and sailing within the stormy seas of life itself.

“If you think sunshine brings you happiness, then you haven’t danced in the rain”

Being happy is not about whether we are alone or not. Truly happy people find their happiness within themselves, not in others. They may still prefer not to be alone, but do not measure their happiness by whether they are, or are not alone. Take some time out to get to know who you really are, whether that’s done through meditation, contemplation or facing your fears. If we want to BE ourselves we must know who we truly are.

I think life is wonderful because I decided to see it that way. I made the choice to see the world that way. We know life is nothing more, or less, than what we perceive it to be. What if we made a decision to see the good before the bad, the positive before the negative, the good seed in every bad situation, and the chance to grow with every obstacle we face?.. I believe anything can be achieved with enough practice.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. - Groucho Marx

I write about a lot of things from personal development to natural health remedies. At the moment I’m writing reviews on baby products such as the Razor Rip Rider 360. If you are looking quality reviews, why not pop on over to the Razor Rip Rider website for the perfect gift for your little one.

I (guest blogger Delcan) was just thinking earlier (it happens sometimes) about lying on my death bed and looking back over my life. I began to ask myself some tough questions, and if I’m being honest (which I am) I wasn’t comfortable with the conclusions I came up with in the end. I realized that I may not be the happiest death bed person that ever lived and it wasn’t because I was on my way out, but because I may have more regrets than I care to think about whilst I have the chance to change them.

I asked myself a couple of questions…

1. Would I be more afraid to die if I had more regrets?

The answer I came up with was this…

Like many people, I tend to put things off and procrastinate on important things in my life. I think we do this because we believe there is enough time to accomplish these things in the future. The biggest problem with this for me, is that I am on my imaginary death bed and I have no time left to accomplish my goals, dreams or fantasies. There is no tomorrow and there is no second chances. I’m regretful when I look back over my life, I am remorseful and feel self pity, maybe even anger.  How can I leave now, I have so much more to do, I have so much more to give.

My conclusion…

I believe I would be more afraid to die or let go if I had unfinished business or if I felt regretful that I didn’t accomplish more while I had the chance.

2. Is it possible to die without any regrets?

The answer I came up with was this…

The only time I have heard of a person passing on without any regrets was in the movies or in a story about some super person who achieved everything they wanted to achieve in their lifetime. I suppose the answer is yes, if the stories are true. It is obviously going to be different for each individual but it most definitely, maybe, probably is true for some.

My conclusion…

If you want to be lying on your death bed one day with a smile on your face, telling a pink elephant and a leprechaun how you have no regrets, then I guess you better start your life from this moment on with a goal in mind to make sure you have no regrets when it’s time for you to kick on.

3. If I am to live a life without regrets, what do I need to focus on?

The answer I came up with was this…

When I started to think about what could be done to help us live a life without regrets, I came up with the following …

• Stop wasting your time on non important stuff.

How often do we repeat the same course of events day in and day out for a large portion of our lives. We are creatures of comfort and we waste too much time on mundane activities that do not stimulate our imagination and creativity. This will be the biggest regret for the majority of people when they are faced with the tragic fact that they wasted so much time doing f**k all to enhance their lives and the lives of others.

• Don’t regret missed opportunities.

Next time you’re faced with a situation that is calling out for you to take action, don’t fob it off because you are afraid to take it on. Life is too damn short to be second guessing your capabilities or being too afraid to face failure. Embrace every obstacle in your life as an opportunity to grow and expand your arsenal of strengths as you will undoubtedly always learn a valuable lesson.

• Realize that materialism can give you the illusion of happiness.

Yes, you read that right. Attachment to material things is never going to make you happy. I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy nice things, but realize that the feeling you have when you’re out shopping for a new coat, TV or even car, is not happiness, it’s not even close to happiness. When you spend more time trying to accumulate wealth than you do trying to drop the baggage that is not, and never will be, the person you need to be, then you are getting your fix of happiness from the outside instead of the inside. I’ve only been on one death bed before (imaginary of course) but I can guarantee that there’s not one person alive who would not give up all their wealth for more time, when they realize they need it most.

• Know Thyself.

We have all heard this phrase before but I bet there’s plenty of people who haven’t a clue what it means. The truth is, most people have no idea, they think because they exist, or they know their name, religion, likes and dislikes, that they know themselves. If you want to get a better understanding of who you really are, then I suggest you spend some time in a room, on your own, in silence for at least 30 minutes every single day for a sustained period of time. If you do this then you will get to know your thoughts and feelings on an intimate level without the influence of anything or anyone else. Get to know your mind and how it works. We spend most of our time thinking on automatic pilot, how can we get to know ourselves if we don’t take the time to observe ourselves.

• Truly be grateful for what you have now, and every day you exist.

If you want to appreciate your life, then you must appreciate the abundance you take for granted when you compare it with others less fortunate. Do this every day and you will begin to appreciate your life on a whole new level.

Okay, that’s as far as I got and no doubt I could have added a lot more but the point I would like to end with is this…

We talk all the time about life being short, we also spend a lot of time repeating the same things day after day. We set goals and decide to change our ways year after year. We go on diets, or give up smoking etc. The point is that we say life is short, but it is far shorter than we say, if we keep wasting so much time on s**t that doesn’t serve us now or later. I believe that if we are going to have regrets later on in life, it is because we do not fully appreciate just how important our lives really are.

Does life only become more important when we are faced with the loss of something we value. It is always too late when the time has passed. I’m not being funny here, it is so important to always remember…It is always too late when the time has passed.   IF ONLY…are two words you can avoid if you live a life without regrets.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you have anything to add then feel free to leave a comment, don’t move onto another site and regret it later.

Take care and have a wonderful day.

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Delcan writes about a lot of things from personal development to natural health remedies. At the moment he is writing reviews on baby products such as The First Years Wave Stroller. If you are looking quality reviews, why not pop on over to the First Years Wave Stroller for more information..

 

No matter what I’m spending my time doing, I have learned through many, many choices that I also have a choice about how I’m feeling while I do whatever I’m doing. Years ago an inspiring teacher changed my life with a sentence. Maybe it will do the same for you. He said:

“I need no excuse to experience and express pure joy.” – Paul Solomon

It is helpful to practice. To actually practice feeling good – for no reason. It’s not difficult. All you have to do is smile. That’s it. Go ahead. Put a smile on your face, and hold it for 60 seconds – SIXTY WHOLE SECONDS – and try feeling bad. Can’t do it. It’s very hard to smile and feel bad at the same time. Try it!

Think about times when you were happy, when you did feel joy. And notice that just thinking about such times, causes you to begin to feel the way you did then. (Feel a little smile curling up the corners of your mouth?) The more detailed the imagery of your memory, the more imaginary senses you involve, the more intense the emotion (positive or negative by the way).

So, practice feeling good for no reason, and when you find yourself not having a reason, remember – you don’t need one!

At least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

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Dr. Rob Pennington, psychologist and professional speaker is author of Find The Upside Of The Down Times: How To Turn Your Worst Experiences Into Your Best Opportunities. You can get more information about having Dr. Pennington speak to your organization by going to his bio at: www.DrRobPennington.com or catch more of his entertaining insights on this topic and others from his blog at www.upsidedowntimes.com.

 

I have been a Personal Development enthusiast for over 15 years now and within that time I have learned a lot of valuable lessons. I would like to share with you 5 Tips that have kept my mind in great shape over the years. I hope you find them as useful as I have and I sincerely hope you see the value in each of the 5 messages as I am confident they can be life changing.

Ability to Trust Your Potential

We are all unique in our own way, we each view and experience the world through our own lens. Ultimately what this means is that nobody can use your abilities the way you can. This is why it is so important to believe in yourself completely. We can read all the books, gain all the knowledge, mirror others achievements and look to others for guidance, but in the end, there is no other person on this planet who knows how to use your abilities quite like you can. We can no doubt learn from others but it is only when we are truly being ourselves that we become powerful. Trust in your abilities and trust that you are the only person alive who can use those abilities to their fullest potential.

Successful Thoughts

Education is paramount to success (whatever success means to you) but education is not preparation for life itself…life itself is education, and every single day you are being tested by the thoughts you choose to entertain or repeat. The educated mind is the one that can entertain a thought without accepting it. The only thoughts that play a leading role in your life are the ones you choose to accept as true. Negative thoughts, doubtful thoughts and any thoughts that limit your growth have no place in your mind, so it’s your job as the governor of your mind to banish these useless thoughts from the community you rule inside your head. Your thoughts only have the power you give to them.

Happiness

Happiness is an incidental happening when you are in harmony with life itself. It is something you become aware of whilst pursuing other things instead of pursuing happiness itself. Happiness will not stand still long enough for you to reach its destination. It will always be an elusive pursuit if you are looking to acquire its presence, it will always be the goal or project you cannot complete, it will always be hidden from you in plain sight, and it will always be lying on the grass on the other side of the fence if you believe the grass you lay on is not as bright, vivid, brilliant or intense. Happiness is the thing you can never enjoy or appreciate if you think you have found it, because happiness is not anything you can find, it is a thing that finds you. May your happiness find you well, and may your happiness find you living in peace and harmony, dancing in the rain and sailing within the stormy seas of life itself.

What’s important to you?

Okay…you’re lying on your death-bed, you have a couple of minutes left to live. How many of the things in your life that made you worry, made you stressed, made you angry, made your life unpleasant…really bloody matter? I would imagine that very little of most of the stuff we place significance on in our lives in this present moment will matter too much at all. There are only a few things in your life that are truly important, Stop fussing over non trivial matters and start focusing on what’s really important to you.

An Optimists view

How often do we react in a negative way to life’s obstacles even though they are an integral part of life. It’s not as if we expect everything to go smoothly for us all the time. Besides, a life without problems would not be as fruitful. We can appreciate the good times only through contrast with the bad. Take a step back and see that whenever a bad situation arises there is always an equally good seed hidden within. You can always learn something valuable from life’s problems if you detach yourself from the negative and focus on the lesson you can take away. Realize that life is exactly what it is meant to be. There’s no good or bad, there’s just lessons to be learned. Obstacles encountered on your journey through life are opportunities for you to grow.

Well, there we have it, 5 lessons that can transform your perception and help create a mindset capable of achieving what you know you undoubtedly deserve. Remember, thoughts that do not help you grow as an individual are thoughts that have no place in your mind, and you have the power to either entertain these thoughts or dismiss them immediately…it’s your choice…choose wisely.

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Authors Bio: Declan O Flaherty has been writing to help inspire change in others for many years now and has recently branched out to writing reviews for baby products such as The First Years Wave Stroller and The First Years jet Stroller.

How does happiness affect the life of an individual? Happiness is the greatest feeling that everyone wants to feel each day. Are you confused on the techniques on how to share happiness with everyone? Well then, this article might help you.

SMILE! A simple act, but sometimes hard to give. When people are feeling joy and happiness, SMILE is present. Laughter follows within. Imagine the world when people are happy everyday. Chaos, sadness, sorrows, anger and other negative feelings surely have no place. One technique which is surely effective is having a sense of humor. A very simple, inexpensive and easy way. Crack some jokes, share fun stories and have fun. Anywhere is a good venue for it.

Problems are always part of every life and there is no way to avoid them. No matter what lifestyle or life status is, problems are always there. Every man or woman, single or married, child or adult, rich or poor, nobody is exempted from it. The best means to overcome problems is through great happiness without a cost.

No matter how tired and heavy feeling each person has, a simple joke and fun can take it away. Sharing jokes in a group of friends could possibly reduce the feeling of sadness, worry and sorrows too. Tell them happy stories or even share a comedy story. Let them share their own happy stories too. Create a topic and let everyone have a panel of comedy discussion. Facial expressions are also very useful. Be a joker or clown of the day. Have a passion to it. Sneak even a little time from them and surely they will never regret spending their little time cracking jokes and sharing happy stories in life. In fact they would forget the time and would never want to stop it. Seeing their faces with a big smile and laughter is the best gift each can give and share. And surely they will never want to miss a day without it. They would even remember it when they go home and sleep. It will continuously flash back in front of their happy faces, ending their day with a smile.

Family, friends and everyone is invited. These people are very important for it is them should be shared and not just for oneself. These people might have different trials encountered in life and the smile is surely what they have been waiting for. Show to them that no matter how hard the life is, be confident and tell them your secret to it. Smile! Live life to the fullest and never let the day pass without a simple smile. And surely everything follows.

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About Author: This article is written by Sarah Hoekstra, who also writes for top-cleaners.com, a site featuring various reviews and tips on free computer clean up.

Matthieu Ricard was born in France in 1946. The son of famous French Philosopher Jean-François Revel and painter Yahne Le Toumelin, he grew up amongst the French elite.  He studied biology and had a promising career when, in 1972, after completing his doctoral thesis in molecular genetics, Ricard decided to forsake his scientific career to the practice of Tibetan Buddhism. He moved to the Tibetan Himalayas and has been living there since then.  Since 1989, he has been the French interpreter for HH the Dalai Lama.

He was nicknamed “the happiest man on earth”, after he participated in a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin that aimed at evaluating the level of happiness of individuals, amongst which were Buddhist monks.  The test that used 256 sensors attached to the skull, and three hours of continuous MRI scanning, showed that Ricard’s happiness level was far above all other participants. That same study also proved the neuroplasticity of the brain demonstrating that meditation can play a key role in anybody’s quest for happiness, by restructuring the brain’s neurons.

Ricard has written several books. Amongst others,  Happiness: A guide to developing life’s most important skill, in which he gives advice on how to live a happy life.  One of the most important aspect of his teachings is that, as you can train your body, he believes you can also train your mind. For that reason, happiness is a skill that everyone can develop.

For him, at the source of unhappiness, there are feelings of jealousy, anger, obsessive desire and arrogance.  Since all of these emotions are fleeting and transient, it is possible to prevent them from invading your mind and tormenting you.

How do you do that?  First,  by not responding to the emotion.  If you feed the emotion, it will most likely grow.  However, you cannot deny it either.  You need to look at the emotion and let it dissolve.   By repeatedly practicing that technique, he believes that negative emotions can flow through you “as a bird crosses the sky and disappears” and therefore not affect your wellbeing.

According to Ricard, behind every thought lies what he calls pure consciousness.  Through love, kindness, benevolence, selfless generosity and compassion, and obviously through the practice of meditation, it is possible to access that pure consciousness and flourish.

When speaking of happiness, Ricard refers to the Sanskrit word for this state of being: sukha.

“Sukha is the state of lasting well-being that manifests itself when we have freed ourselves of mental blindness and afflictive emotions. It is also the wisdom that allows us to see the world as it is, without veils or distortions. It is, finally, the joy of moving toward inner freedom and the loving-kindness that radiates toward others.”

The author is Alina Boutros, who owns a University Master’s Degree in Literary Studies, has been researching happiness for the past year. You can read her daily posts on http://alina-500daystohappiness.blogspot.com

Does your mind often wander off during the day? I know mine does.  I call it distraction, but I could also call it mind-wandering! That is why meditation is so hard for me. It seems like, no matter how hard I try not to have any, thoughts keep racing through my mind. Well, a study has shown that this characteristic of my personality might contribute to my unhappiness!

Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, two psychologists from Harvard University came up with the brilliant idea of using an IPhone application as the principal research tool for a study on happiness that was published last November in the Science Journal.

This iPhone application, created by Killingsworth, randomly asked 2,250 volunteers from all over the world at different intervals of the day what their level of happiness was, what they were doing and what they were thinking about.

Killingsworth and Gilbert found that people were happiest when making love, exercising, or engaging in conversation. They were least happy when resting, working, or using a home computer.

The results also showed that people’s minds wandered a lot, regardless of what they were doing: people reported letting their minds wander 46.9% of the time, and at least 30% of the time during every activity except having sex.

The study showed that mind-wandering was actually a predictor of people’s happiness more than the actual activities people were engaged in.

The researchers estimated that only 4.6 percent of a person’s happiness in a given moment was attributable to the specific activity he or she was doing, whereas whether or not a person was wandering determined about 10.8 percent of his or her happiness.

Many philosophical and psychological schools of thought, believe that happiness starts by living in the present moment.  Now, a study has shown the validity of that statement.  So, maybe when your mind wanders off while you’re in the middle of cooking, it is worth bringing it back to the task at hand.  It could make you happier… and, perhaps,  also prevent you from burning yourself or messing up the recipe!

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The author is Alina Boutros, who owns a University Master’s Degree in Literary Studies, has been researching happiness for the past year. You can read her daily posts on http://alina-500daystohappiness.blogspot.com

Have you ever been in a restaurant where the menu has six pages?  I find it impossible to make a decision.  Whatever I choose, I always end up wondering if I selected the best dish.  Most of the times, my husband laughs at my selection… he believes it often turns out to be the worst thing on the menu!  I hate to admit it, but he might be right!   When there are too many options, I don’t know what to have, so I resort to chicken, the safest, but most common and boring choice.

One thing is certain, our world offers people far more choice than before, no matter the field.  One hundred years ago, women, for instance, didn’t have the freedom and autonomy they now enjoy.  They got married as early as they could, they had children and raised them and they managed their homes.  Their life was drawn for them the minute they were born.   When people went to the movies, there was only one movie showing!  People had no choice!   In a way, it was simpler that way!

I’m certainly not suggesting going back to that period of time.  No woman I know wants to go back to the kitchen full time and have a life of servitude.  However, it is undeniable that this increase in freedom and choice came with a price!

In his 2004 book The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, Barry Schwartz talks about the fact that while individuals are now offered more freedom and choice, depression seems to be taking epidemic proportions.

Schwartz partly attributes that fact to the paralyzing effect of the infinite choice, which, according to him, is extremely exhausting to the human psyche.  It raises expectations (if you have many choices, one of them must be perfect) and it creates dissatisfaction (if you’re buying salad dressing and you’re not happy with your choice, it is easy to imagine the alternatives as being much better than your selection, so you end up unhappy about it).

Schwartz gives 11 ways to minimize stress caused by the debilitating effect of decision-making:

- choose when to choose

- be a chooser and not a picker

- satisfice more and maximize less

- think about the opportunity costs

- make decisions non reversible

- practice an attitude of gratitude

- regret less

- anticipate adaptation

- control expectations

- curtail social comparison

- learn to love constraints

I can completely relate to the fact that the abundance of choice can have a negative impact on happiness!  Probably, because it amplifies the myth that perfection exists.  We tend to believe that if there is such a wide selection, there must be a perfect choice!  The problem is there is no such a thing as the perfect job, the perfect time to have children, the perfect spouse, the perfect house or the perfect meal!  And when you take too much time to make a decision, you miss opportunities!

Analysis by paralysis…. that is what needs to be avoided when it comes to choices!   Choosing means being in motion,… but it has to be done with  no regret and no expectations!  And you always have to be ready to change direction if need be! At least, even if you slightly change your goals, you’ll always feel you’re going forward!

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The author is Alina Boutros, who owns a University Master’s Degree in Literary Studies, has been researching happiness for the past year. You can read her daily posts on http://alina-500daystohappiness.blogspot.com

When choosing a career, when deciding whether to remain in your comfort zone or to break out and try something new, when weighing the pros and cons of taking on a second job or starting a home-based business, remember the words of Gelett Burgess

“There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lie happiness.”

Yes, it’s not just about the money. Without happiness, money isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. In fact, after paying for food and basic shelter from the elements, the only reason to have money is for happiness.

Is there some play that you would like to do for work? Is there some work that for you would be play?

My happiness blog will never earn me gobs of money, but I love writing it. I still need a real source of income (my SEO business and my writing business), but it is nice to also have “work that it play”.

Many writers find it hard to be happy in their jobs.  For most of them, it is their means to feed their mouths, put a roof over their heads, and pay their bills.  In other words, writing is reduced to being an obligation and not the craft they used to love.  Are you one of these writers?

Believe it or not, writing can be your source of joy and inspiration too.  it can be your means of venting out different feelings and stress.   You may be one of the writers who are currently experiencing a rough patch.

Don’t worry.  The road to happiness is just near.  Get through writer’s depression through the 5 simple tricks below:

1. Read, read, and read. Reading works of other writers can and will inspire you to write and move others.  You can also acquire ideas for your post through reading.  Even skimming through posts in a newspaper can help too.

Reading can help expand your horizon so if you want something that’s in-depth, try reading books from authors like Ernest Hemingway or contemporaries from Paulo Coelho.  Pick anything that you like best.  It can be a piece or book that you have already read or something new.

1. Write something that hits close to home. writing something that directly affects you is easier because you have emotions or feelings about the subject that you can use.  it’s just like pouring out your heart and soul to a diary or a close friend.

Or better yet, just tap on any subject that you want to discuss.  Come up with anything that interests you and write something about it.  this way, you are very eager to research about the subject and finish the article with ease because you are “into” the subject.

1. Trust that you can do it. you will face many stumbling blocks in your writing career.  Editors, webmasters, or article directories will reject your articles.  Or you may be reprimanded by your boss for failing him.

Being a writer is tough.  But if you believe in yourself and what you can do, you will be able to pull this off.  Also remember that you will not appreciate success without failures.  It is normal to fail so enjoy it.

1. Push yourself to the limits. All writers experience writer’s block.  This is inevitable.  If you find yourself in this position, stand up and take a break.  Inhale, exhale.  Relax and calm your mind.  Then go back to your monitor and start writing again.  Just type in anything.  You will find that creative juice will start to flow in no time.
2. Be contented with your work. Most writers are never happy with themselves because they are never contented in their output.  I am guilty of this.  Very guilty.  I found out that this only stresses me out.  The point here is that we have to be forgiving of ourselves.  we berate ourselves because we want to give out the best or the perfect article that will impress or at least please everyone.  The truth is not everyone will find your article impressive because this is subjective.  The important thing is that, at the end of the day, you know that you did everything that you can to give the best output.

Writers, failing is inevitable.  This is completely normal.  What’s important is that you learn to stand up and forgive yourself.  Exercise the five tips in this post to keep yourself happy.

Good luck fellow writers!

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Author’s bio: Marcy Gray is a writer who strives to reach out to other writers just like her. She also writes about baby care products such as the first years wave stroller and britax b ready stroller. She has been working in the baby care industry for three years now.