Self-Help Happiness Blog

Lloyd Garver of the Norwich Bulletin is obviously not a big fan of happiness books, but at least he refers to mine as… ”Some of these popular happy books include, ‘Climb your Stairway to Heaven: The 9 Habits of Maximum Happiness’“.

The problem with Mr. Garver is probably not so much his grumpiness, but his poor sense of direction.  See what else he says, “The reason you can’t find the kind of book you’re looking for is that all the self-help books about how to be happy fill up the shelves. Ironically, this makes some of us quite unhappy.”

Fortunately for us and for the sake of clarity, he does specify what kind of book you’re looking for.  A real book.  Hey, those are his words, not mine.

If books about happiness and self-help are not what he is looking for, why is he looking in the self-help section?  I have to assume he is simply lost, because obviously he won’t find any real books there.  Either that, or he is a very grumpy man with a great sense of theatrics (not to mention irony).  And nothing makes a grumpy person grumpier than a happy person saying to him, “Smile!”  (Yes, grumpy people really, really hate happy photographers!)

If the bookstores would kindly provide visitors with maps when they enter the store, people who don’t want to be happy can avoid accidentally finding themselves surrounded by all those threatening smiley faces.  And they can get on with the business of finding “real books”, which apparently bookstores don’t seem to stock anymore.

That oughta solve the problem.

Hmm…I wonder what he would think of a happiness blog. 

Good news? Bad news? It all depends on how you look at things.

Consider the following factual news that could send a pessimist around the bend and over the edge:

POVERTY: Almost half of the world’s population earns a below-average income.

ILLITERACY: If current trends continue, by 2022 almost every child born will be illiterate.

DISEASE: Fully 98 percent of people are at risk of getting cancer.

DEATH: By 2060, at current mortality rates, two out of every three people in the world will be dead.

See? It pays to be optimisitc, no matter how bleak the news might seem.

Do you have a funny spot?  I do.  It’s on my head.  Sometimes it pops up a week after getting my hair cut.  Sometimes two, or even three weeks later.  And it seems that each time it pops up a little differently.  More than anything, my funny spot dictates when I get my hair cut.

Most of us have funny spots in our personalities, too.  Certain things might rub us the wrong way.  Or in certain situations we might become suddenly shy or clumsy after a while. 

Just as my hair needs maintenance to help manage that funny spot, we all need personality maintenance, which we often call self-help.  We need to know what characteristics about ourselves look “funny” or somehow interfere with smooth relationships with others.  And we need to take regular measures to manage those elements.  Chances are, these are not things we can eliminate (although some might be), but simply to keep a check on them so that they allow us to be pleasant to others and function at our best in our community.

Consider this: you give your car regular maintenance, don’t you?

P.S.  I once had an even funnier spot on my head…

This post first appeared in A Daily Dose of Happiness newsletter