Self-Help Happiness Blog

This is Part One of a two-part discussion. Before you read my comments, you’ll want to be familiar with “Tough Little Boys”, a country song by Gary Allan that has been bouncing around in my head the past couple weeks. This is an extremely touching song that any parent will relate to, especially dads, but even my ten-year-old daughter gets it.

Here is the video, followed by the lyrics, followed by my comments.

Tough Little Boys – Video

Tough Little Boys – Lyrics

Well I never once
Backed down from a punch
Well I’d take it square on the chin
But I found out fast
That bullies just laugh
And we’ve got to stand up to them

So I didn’t cry when I got a black eye
As bad as it hurt, I just grinned
But when tough little boys grow up to be dads
They turn into big babies again.

Scared me to death
When you took your first steps
And I’d fall every time you fell down
Your first day of school, I cried like a fool
And I followed your school bus to town

Well I didn’t cry, when Old Yeller died
At least not in front of my friends
But when tough little boys grow up to be dads
They turn into big babies again

Well I’m a grown man
But as strong as I am
Sometimes its hard to believe
How one little girl, with little blonde curls
Could totally terrify me

If you were to ask, my wife would just laugh
She’d say “I know all about men
How tough little boys grow up to be dads
They turn into big babies again”

Well I know one day, I’ll give you away
But I’m gonna stand there and smile
But when I get home, and I’m all alone
Well, I’ll sit in your room for a while

Well I didn’t cry when Old Yeller died
At least not in front of my friends
But when tough little boys grow up to be dads
They turn into big babies again

When tough little boys grow up to be dads
They turn into big babies again

Tough Little Boys – Commentary

Today’s post is about the first paragraph, about the importance of standing up to bullies. I don’t think the typical adult is subjected to messages about bullying, and the bullying adults face is more subtle than with kids. Many people face bullying on the job that is harder to recognize as such than “Give me your lunch money or I’ll smash your brains into lizard spit!” More often, there is the underlying risk of losing one’s job or of being passed over for promotion if one doesn’t…

• Work lots of extra hours
• Fetch coffee for the boss
• Sleep with the boss

I would like to think such occurrences are extremely rare, but I suspect they are somewhat more common than I would like.

Adults could learn from the kids’ messages, and sometimes it’s worth risking a job loss or promotion loss rather than a loss of dignity and self-esteem (I know, I know, this is not always an easy call).

I recall just four fights I was in as a kid. Just four because I was a coward. Yes, I would do just about anything to get out of a fight. But there were four times that my inner coward lost the battle.

Once the kid hit me good in the jaw. But I didn’t hit back. Just as in the song – “As bad as it hurt, I just grinned” – and after that first punch, it was over. I guess he didn’t know what to do with someone who doesn’t hit back.

I met the same kid a second time, just off school property after school, just as he challenged me to. He didn’t hit me that time. He said something about respecting me for showing up, and he let it drop.

The third time (I think I have these in chronological order) was a different kid, who also punched me in the jaw and broke his hand. I don’t know if it really broke, but he did go see the school nurse – either way, i like my memory’s version and I have no need to learn whether my jaw really was a fist-breaker or not.

The fourth time, I did run – but I will beg your forgiveness. The other boy did not try to hit me. Son a moved out of the way. He ran after me and tried to kick me. So I moved out of his way. Like this, he chased me around the school yard for about ten minutes before giving up. I actually recall him getting more and more frustrated and angry and I was finding it harder and harder not to laugh.

Kids have to learn to resist bullying, but so do adults. It’s worth watching some kids shows and learning from them. There are a lot of basic life lessons that many adults still need to learn, too.

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This post was included in the Saturday Show & Tell – 8th Edition

This is an excerpt from Words on Happiness Vol. 1 by Jen Bluekissed:

Walk in the other guy’s shoes.  Before you do, sanitize them so you don’t get foot fungus.  After you’ve walked a mile in them, give them back, and respect that he might not be willing to walk in yours yet.

Give of yourself.  When you die, what you’ve held back will be forgotten, but what you’ve given will be remembered by all those whose lives you’ve touched.

Most people act out of a desire to have their wants and needs met.  They do not act out of vengeance or specifically to hurt you.  If you are hurt in the process, realize that it’s probably easier for the them to ignore the pain you’re feeling than to deal with their own issues.

When you speak softly and carry a big stick, try not to do so in the house of someone who keeps a loaded pistol near his/her bedside.

When upset, make sure to tell the people you’re talking with afterward whether or not you’re looking to vent your frustration or for them to help you fix your problem.  Your friends need guidance for when to listen and when to speak.

Deliver the goods you’ve promised.  If you can’t, chocolate always helps to smooth things over.

Keep your sense of awe and wonderment.

Spend time near flowering trees.

Root for the underdog, but don’t necessarily place a bet on them with anything other than Monopoly money.

Hold your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family closest.

Smile, even when you don’t feel like it.

Allow yourself anger, frustration, sadness, despair, envy, bitterness, etc., but schedule a time to end those things so that you can again feel hope.

What isn’t said speaks as loudly as what is said.

Make time to ponder and reflect.

Own a teddy bear to hug when you’re down.  People are great for hugs, but teddy bears aren’t ever too tired or too busy for a good squeeze session.

Money is a finite resource.  Treat it as such.

Love is not a finite resource.  Give some away, and you’ll always get more back, even if it comes from unexpected places.

Forget you’re a grown up sometimes.

Schedule a day every now and again to have no responsibilities.

Allow yourself to cry when crying is necessary.  Do decide that you will stop crying after you get it out of your system.

Try not to marry your job.  It won’t be there to take care of you when you’re old and start getting dementia.

Deliver bad news with compassion.

Hands are shaped for holding other hands for a reason.  Try it sometime.

Be careful whom you trust.  Trust is a privilege, not a right.

We are fish in a giant fishbowl.  Very few things are secrets if the right people employ the right tactics to know your business.  Live life knowing that someone will probably find out.

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Jen Bluekissed chooses to see the world in color.  She kisses in color too.  Her work can also be found on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

…the air out of a room when you make it all about you.

…the life out of everyone around you when you make it all about you.

…the joy out of every endeavor when you make it all about you.

…the lightness out of every quest when you make it all about you.

…the potential out of every business when you make it all about you.

You fill.

…every room,

…every person,

…every endeavor,

…every quest,

…every business with life, with energy, with potential,

When you make it all about them.

++++

The challenge is to serve, solve and delight from a place of genuine personal interest without relying on the experience to complete you.

Agree, disagree…need more latte?

Reprinted with permission from personal development and marketing blog – JonathanFields.com

I’ll spare you the long-winded intro today.  This is a short message by the former CEO of Coca Cola very inspirational, that a friend shared with me a while back.  Take a moment to reflect on it, and hopefully your day will be a little more valuable afterward.

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This post was featured in the Carnival of Wealth #31, in the Totally Money Carnival #12 and in Cajun Finances Random Thoughts Carnival.

Short blog post today. This little message says it all…please don’t let this happen to you.

I am copying this straight from a pass-around email I received recently.  It’s good, so I thought I would share it with you.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions.Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Some songs have the power to motivate.  The lyrics can be as powerful as any motivational speech.  The music can get our hearts pumping.  The words and tune can play in our heads all day long.

Below is a list of some of the best motivational songs (mostly English, some French and Spanish).  It is far, far from being a complete list, so feel free to add your favorites to the list using the comments form at the bottom.

Man in Motion (from St. Elmo’s Fire)

Makin’ It (from the short-lived TV show of the same name)

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

The Greatest Love of All (the ultimate self-esteem song of all time)

Have a Happy (yes, Elvis)

Change of Habit (yes, also Elvis)

I Have Been Blessed (by Martina McBride)

Point of Light (the Randy Travers classic)

My Way (the ultimate classic motivational song by Paul Anka)

Et C’est Pas Fini (the theme song from Star Académie, 1996)

Peace of Mind (by Boston)

Standing Outside the Fire (by Garth Brooks)

Closer to the Heart (Canadian motivation )

Do You Know Where You’re Going to? (from the Mahogany)

There You Are (by Clink Black)

Une Promesse (by Cindy Daniel)

Lean on Me

Dream Never Dies (more Canadian Motivation)

Hold On (by Triumph…the song that helped me in my teen years)

Believe it or Not (from the Greatest American Hero TV show)

Una Cancion (RBD)

Living Out Loud (by Aaron Lines)

The Eye of the Tiger (from Rocky III, I believe)

All Fired Up (Pat Benetar)

Don’t Stop (another one that helped me during those roller coaster teenage years)

The Kid is Hot Tonight (by Loverboy)

If I rummaged through my MP3s, my CDs and my old record collection, I am sure I could find dozens of other motivational songs and possibly even some music that motivates without lyrics.  The one listed here are the ones that come to mind first for me.  But now, over to you.  What songs do you find most motivational?

TWEET this post.

…added January 20, 2009:

What a Feeling (from the movie Flashdance) 

I’m Alive (by ELO)

Hold on Tight (also by ELO)

Walk On (by Rea)

Swing on a Star (was that Bing Crosby)

On Top of the World (by the Carpenters)

I Will Survive (Gloria Gayner’s anthem)

Light in Your Eyes (by Leann Rimes)

We Are the Champions (by Queen)

Winning (by Santana)

Don’t Forget to Dance (by the Kinks)

We Shall Be Free (by Garth Brooks)

Free Will (by Rush)

The Rose (by Bette Midler)

I love this story in the New York Times.  It tells of   Joel Moss Levinson, a college dropout who can boast of dozens of failed jobs.  So far, he has won 11 contests by creating  homemade corporate commercials, user-generated video content that promotes their brands or their products virally on places like YouTube and MetaCafe.  And so far, he has earned $200,000 in cash and prizes.

Let’s keep in mind that each one of those contests is a whole new ball game.  You don’t get credit for previous efforts in other contests.  You don’t get seniority or stability.  You have to earn each one with the quality of your work.  Imagine if each month you had to apply for your job, along with thousands of other people.  I wonder how many people would retain their jobs. 

 What I am trying to demonstrate, is that this is a truly monumental accomplishment for a vagabond dropout. 

I am a big believer in education, but I am also a big believer in taking life by the horns and creating your own destiny.  And formal education is not always the same thing as education.  So I salute Mr. Levinson, and perhaps it will be an inspiration to a few other people to jump in and find their calling…especially if they are either job hopping or stuck in a rut where they really don’t get satisfaction.

A quick quote from David Suzuki, writing last week in Metro Ottawa:

You must stand up for what you believe in, but be prepared for people to be angry and to disagree.  If you want to be liked by everyone, then you will stand for nothing.

This is a message about integrity.  We don’t have to be cruel about expressing our beliefs – it’s not “us” against “them” – but our actions must reflect our beliefs if we are to maintain our integrity.  People who suspend their beliefs and who act in opposition to them are rarely very happy.

“narge”. What is narge? Well, it just happens to be how both many
daughters pronounced “orange” for the first couple years of talking.
(OK, one of them is still in those first couple years).

What is so hard about the word “orange”. Even when broken down
repeatedly into three sounds – O RAN J – they still can’t pronounce
it.

Don’t make assumptions about what anybody can or cannot do. What
seems simple to one person might be beyond hope for others.

I do search engine optimization for a living. What do you mean you
can’t do it? It’s easy. I’ll bet there are things you do daily that
would send me into knots trying to figure out, too. It’s a good thing,
too. After all, where would we be if all of us were experts at
gardening and none of us were experts at plumbing?

 This inspiration was first published in A Daily Dose of Happiness two years ago.