Self-Help Happiness Blog

Ali was not only one of the greatest boxers the world has ever known but he is also known as an incredibly inspiring human being. He was also known for his pre-match hype, where he would “trash talk” opponents on television and in person some time before each match, often with rhymes. These personality quips and idioms, along with an unorthodox fighting technique, made him a cultural icon. Below I will list some of his most inspiring quotes and how important they can be to the person who takes heed.

1… Fake it until you believe it.

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was”

I’m sure you have heard the “fake it till you make it” phrase before. How you hold yourself and what you say to yourself has a dramatic affect on how others see you and how your mind perceives your environment.

When you are out and about in the world today, hold your head up, pull your shoulders back and speak with clarity. By purposely and consciously acting how you would like to feel, your body and mind will begin to follow the lead you set out before hand. Also, the people you meet will treat you the way they perceive you, thus, reinforcing into your mind the outcome you set out to from the start.

If you want to feel more confident, in control and you want others to see you that way, then fake it. Inside, you might be nervous at first but others will not notice this as they will only be focused on what their eyes can see.

“I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest”

2… Short term pain for long term gain.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”

Everything we do in life has consequences and more often than not we tend to opt for the easiest solution ahead of persevering in the face of resistance. Our bad habits are a perfect example of this lesson because they give us instant gratification and yet we never focus on the long term effects they may cause.

It becomes very easy to choose between what makes us feel good now as opposed to what will make us feel good in the future. Take a look at the choices you make each day and ask yourself if you are simply choosing instant gratification over long term pleasure. Most don’t want to put in the effort today because the results may take some time to manifest.

I am all for living in the moment but there are certain seeds that need to e planed today for the to harvest tomorrow.

3… Nobody knows you better than you know yourself.

“I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.”

No one can accuse Ali of being a person who lived his life on others terms. What about you? Are you living your life on your own terms? Have you made choices in the past because of what others expected of you and continue to do so?

I made the decision some time ago to live my life on my own terms. I left an extremely well paid  job after 12 years because I simply didn’t enjoy it anymore. It was a big decision at the time and I had to listen to my friends and family tell me how I was making a huge mistake in doing so. If I would have listened to them then I would be as miserable now as I was then. It was the best decision I ever made and I couldn’t be happier with my decision.

Most often the time is never right and you just have to go for it. I truly believe that things will always work out for the best in the end if you are willing to fly in the face of adversity, make a decision that feels right and stick with it.

4… You are so talented.

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself”

Nothing is impossible if you have faith in yourself…nothing. I have found the biggest problem that people have is doubting themselves and their abilities. I have also realized that your mind is the great trickster. How many times have you doubted your ability to accomplish something and avoided the task altogether. Stop listening to useless thoughts created in your mind that limit your growth. You are not your mind, and doubting yourself is absolutely useless because it is absolute lies.

You have enough ability to last you 100 lifetimes but you may never believe it if you give power to the thoughts that limit you. Believe me when I tell you this, you have the power to either entertain or dismiss any thought that enters your mind. Your mind is always thinking, remembering, fantasizing and forever creating stories based upon the information you subject it to. Start to believe in your abilities and begin to discard the negative useless thoughts that limit you.

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen”

5… Does life just happen to you?

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life”

If we do not consciously create the life we want for ourselves then we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over until the lesson is learned. Your life will change as the years go by but will it be because you took control and made the effort to consciously change your life, or will you leave it up to life to do the changing for you.

I have met many people who are not living up to even close to what they are capable of. The worse thing is that they don’t make any effort whatsoever to change their circumstances. They obviously want to have a better life, but it’s as if they’re hoping things will magically get better for them further down the line.

Take an inventory of your life up till this point and ask yourself if you are in the same situation, physically, mentally and emotionally as you where last month, year or even decade. Then ask yourself if your life is being played out on automatic pilot.

*  *  *

This was a guest post written by Delcan at zenmed reviews where he discusses zenmed scar treatment reviews as well as many other natural treatments.

How to Get Through Life’s Holes and not Get Stuck in Them!

The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is about resiliency. One of the most consistent characteristics of people who report high levels of life satisfaction and happiness is resilience: having the ability to bounce back from life’s setbacks, grow from challenges and transform stress into success.

The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is a self-help book that will be released in mid October. This whimsical yet informative self-help book uses Swiss Cheese as a metaphor for life itself. Life is not predictable and smooth like cream cheese. Our lives are really more like Swiss with all its distinctive holes, and without the holes, there would be no Swiss! Our lives, likewise, have inevitable “holes,” and “imperfections,” yet these holes give us our unique character and depth.

It’s a fact that the larger the holes of the Swiss, the sweeter and more distinctive the cheese. What an analogy to our lives! We develop resiliency by overcoming challenges and obstacles. By moving through life’s holes rather than getting stuck in them, we become stronger.

Besides, the holes of the cheese are called eyes, so it is the holes in our lives that allow us to “see more clearly” and develop insight. Swiss Cheese with no holes is called blind Swiss – and you wouldn’t want to live with your eyes closed like this cheese in denial!

There are ten takeaways from “The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life” that can empower you and help you build resiliency skills:

1. Fondue Can Never Turn Back into a Block of Cheese. Give up the habit of looking back with regret – there are no do-overs and by focusing too much about the past and what can’t be changed will keep you stuck in a hole!
2. There is No Such Thing as a Perfect Slice of Cheese. Give up the need for perfection. Besides, the road to success is paved with mistakes and failures.
3. No “Whine” with the Cheese, Please! Pity Parties are over-rated. Strive to look at things more rationally and positively. The Swiss Cheese Motto is: Think Straight and Feel Great!
4. If the Cheese is Ripe, Dig In! Be Proactive, not Reactive! The more you feel in control of your actions and reactions, and do not “wait” for things to happen, the more empowered and effective you will be.
5. Live ‘Whole’ Despite the Holes.  Focus on developing mindfulness and spirituality with the intent of being present-focused.
6. Enjoy the Wine and Cheese Party! People who connect with others, give and receive social support, are happier than people who are isolated. As the old Bell Telephone commercials said: Reach out and touch someone!
7. Be like Cheese-Lite! Develop health and wellness through exercise, healthy eating, and good lifestyle habits. Welcome wellness for a healthier YOU!
8. Slice the Cheese Wheel of Life. Get organized, prioritize and delegate so that you can achieve a healthy lifestyle balance. Don’t let time divide you – learn to divide your time and energy in a way that makes you feel balanced.
9. Master the Cheese Wheel of Change.  Embrace change, be flexible, and strive to be a Stress Manager and not a Stress Carrier!
10. Smile and Say “Cheese”!

Focus on developing a positive outlook and healthy optimism, while you work on healing resentments, focusing on forgiveness, and striving to replace negativity with gratitude.
These ten areas of resiliency are important in every aspect of our lives, and embracing these delectable takeaways from The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life will give you the pungency and flavor of a complete and meaningful life!

Psychotherapists and wellness speakers Judy Belmont and co-author Lora Shor offer videos and self-tests, and book information on their website, http://www.theswisscheesetheoryoflife.com, where you can download the first two chapters of their upcoming book. Judy can be reached at JABelmont@theswisscheesetheoryoflife.com

Imagine a public relations firm whose philosophy is “tell the truth at all costs”. Not possible? Not for Mark Demoss, founder of PR firm the Demoss Group. He created exactly that.

His book The Little Red Book of Wisdom contains boulders of practical guidance packaged in interesting, nugget-sized chapters. Half of the book specifically addresses the business world and the second half covers personal matters a refreshing change from the typical success-manual mode.

Like The Demoss Group itself, The Little Red Book of Wisdom is atypical on every level: unapologetic-ally Christian, Demoss manages to frame his philosophies biblically without preaching or moralizing. Instead, he illustrates his points with personal experiences and current events in a conversational style that’s easy reading for harried executives.

But this isn’t a sappy read: with chapters like “Do Something So Difficult, You’ll Never Want to Do It Again”, and “The Best Defense is a Good Defense”, Demoss challenges readers with time-tested philosophies that he personally practices. Not one concept is overwritten: if Demoss can cover it in a couple of sentences, he does.

The Little Red Book of Wisdom deserves a place on every leader’s desk, for short bursts of inspiration on the long road of service.

Meredith Healey is a single mom, so she needs all the self-improvement she can get. She blogs about her progress at http://sinthesinglemom.blogspot.com/

I (guest blogger Delcan) was just thinking earlier (it happens sometimes) about lying on my death bed and looking back over my life. I began to ask myself some tough questions, and if I’m being honest (which I am) I wasn’t comfortable with the conclusions I came up with in the end. I realized that I may not be the happiest death bed person that ever lived and it wasn’t because I was on my way out, but because I may have more regrets than I care to think about whilst I have the chance to change them.

I asked myself a couple of questions…

1. Would I be more afraid to die if I had more regrets?

The answer I came up with was this…

Like many people, I tend to put things off and procrastinate on important things in my life. I think we do this because we believe there is enough time to accomplish these things in the future. The biggest problem with this for me, is that I am on my imaginary death bed and I have no time left to accomplish my goals, dreams or fantasies. There is no tomorrow and there is no second chances. I’m regretful when I look back over my life, I am remorseful and feel self pity, maybe even anger.  How can I leave now, I have so much more to do, I have so much more to give.

My conclusion…

I believe I would be more afraid to die or let go if I had unfinished business or if I felt regretful that I didn’t accomplish more while I had the chance.

2. Is it possible to die without any regrets?

The answer I came up with was this…

The only time I have heard of a person passing on without any regrets was in the movies or in a story about some super person who achieved everything they wanted to achieve in their lifetime. I suppose the answer is yes, if the stories are true. It is obviously going to be different for each individual but it most definitely, maybe, probably is true for some.

My conclusion…

If you want to be lying on your death bed one day with a smile on your face, telling a pink elephant and a leprechaun how you have no regrets, then I guess you better start your life from this moment on with a goal in mind to make sure you have no regrets when it’s time for you to kick on.

3. If I am to live a life without regrets, what do I need to focus on?

The answer I came up with was this…

When I started to think about what could be done to help us live a life without regrets, I came up with the following …

• Stop wasting your time on non important stuff.

How often do we repeat the same course of events day in and day out for a large portion of our lives. We are creatures of comfort and we waste too much time on mundane activities that do not stimulate our imagination and creativity. This will be the biggest regret for the majority of people when they are faced with the tragic fact that they wasted so much time doing f**k all to enhance their lives and the lives of others.

• Don’t regret missed opportunities.

Next time you’re faced with a situation that is calling out for you to take action, don’t fob it off because you are afraid to take it on. Life is too damn short to be second guessing your capabilities or being too afraid to face failure. Embrace every obstacle in your life as an opportunity to grow and expand your arsenal of strengths as you will undoubtedly always learn a valuable lesson.

• Realize that materialism can give you the illusion of happiness.

Yes, you read that right. Attachment to material things is never going to make you happy. I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy nice things, but realize that the feeling you have when you’re out shopping for a new coat, TV or even car, is not happiness, it’s not even close to happiness. When you spend more time trying to accumulate wealth than you do trying to drop the baggage that is not, and never will be, the person you need to be, then you are getting your fix of happiness from the outside instead of the inside. I’ve only been on one death bed before (imaginary of course) but I can guarantee that there’s not one person alive who would not give up all their wealth for more time, when they realize they need it most.

• Know Thyself.

We have all heard this phrase before but I bet there’s plenty of people who haven’t a clue what it means. The truth is, most people have no idea, they think because they exist, or they know their name, religion, likes and dislikes, that they know themselves. If you want to get a better understanding of who you really are, then I suggest you spend some time in a room, on your own, in silence for at least 30 minutes every single day for a sustained period of time. If you do this then you will get to know your thoughts and feelings on an intimate level without the influence of anything or anyone else. Get to know your mind and how it works. We spend most of our time thinking on automatic pilot, how can we get to know ourselves if we don’t take the time to observe ourselves.

• Truly be grateful for what you have now, and every day you exist.

If you want to appreciate your life, then you must appreciate the abundance you take for granted when you compare it with others less fortunate. Do this every day and you will begin to appreciate your life on a whole new level.

Okay, that’s as far as I got and no doubt I could have added a lot more but the point I would like to end with is this…

We talk all the time about life being short, we also spend a lot of time repeating the same things day after day. We set goals and decide to change our ways year after year. We go on diets, or give up smoking etc. The point is that we say life is short, but it is far shorter than we say, if we keep wasting so much time on s**t that doesn’t serve us now or later. I believe that if we are going to have regrets later on in life, it is because we do not fully appreciate just how important our lives really are.

Does life only become more important when we are faced with the loss of something we value. It is always too late when the time has passed. I’m not being funny here, it is so important to always remember…It is always too late when the time has passed.   IF ONLY…are two words you can avoid if you live a life without regrets.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you have anything to add then feel free to leave a comment, don’t move onto another site and regret it later.

Take care and have a wonderful day.

Delcan writes about a lot of things from personal development to natural health remedies. At the moment he is writing reviews on baby products such as The First Years Wave Stroller. If you are looking quality reviews, why not pop on over to the First Years Wave Stroller for more information..

Just in case anybody reading this needs a little inspiration, something to give them a kick in the backside, to keep persevering like Frodo did through Mordor even when all hope was gone and he could barely keep his eyes open, here are a few words from Mark Helprin to help:

“From long familiarity, we know what honor is. It is what enables the individual to do right in the face of complacency and cowardice. It is what enables the soldier to die alone, the political prisoner to resist, the singer to sing her song, hardly appreciated, on a side street.”

(And may you never suffer trials as bleak and punishing as those Frodo faced.

First off I should say that my mother was never diagnosed as bipolar but looking back as an adult, lots of research, some basic education in psychology and after speaking to trained professionals I believe it’s a very accurate diagnosis. Your parents and family are meant to be there for you no matter what, they should support you and encourage you and you should always feel safe and protected by them but if you’re growing up with a family member who has any psychological or mental illness this is very rarely the case. You feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells, you know they’ll be good days but at the same time you know they’ll be bad days too.

You can’t live your life around them

It’s not fair to live your whole life like you’re walking on egg shells but this is sometimes unavoidable. You know it can only take the smallest thing to trigger a storm but at the same time your home life needs to be somewhere you can relax. One thing I found helped was to have a kettle with some powder milk, tea, coffee and sugar in my room and a small box of snacks. Hiding away in your room shouldn’t have to be the answer but if this happens more often than not you need to make sure it’s as comfortable as possible. It’s their house too but there is a very large degree of irrationality to mental illnesses in that they’ll take it out any mood swings on the first thing they’ll see. If you’re not under their nose your life will be easier.

You need a release

No matter if it’s just a half an hour walk round your neighbourhood or you join a local club or activity group find something away from home and away from school that can take your mind off things even if it’s just for an hour or two a week. If you like listening to music really study it and learn to produce it yourself or dance to it. I was never fanatically into music but there were some songs that really had prominent lyrics to me that helped. Reading is also another good way to lose yourself for a few hours.

Look forwards not backwards

This is one I’ve learned with hindsight. Nothing is forever; you’ll grow up, move out and live your own life one day. For now it sucks and there’s a good chance tomorrow is going to suck too but next year or the year after it will get better. Find one thing you’re looking forward to that’s not too far away, going out with your friends, a holiday or even a shopping trip anything that you can concentrate on to take your mind off today. If you have nothing coming up over the next few weeks arrange something.

You can’t blame them for your life

This is one you need to learn as soon as possible and it took me a long time to learn and I’m still learning it today. You can storm around as a teenager and get away with it because ‘my mother never loved me’ but as an adult it’s quite pathetic. You are your own person, with your own personality and ultimately responsible for your own decisions and your own destiny. You might look at your friends who come from loving ‘conventional’ families but the chances are the majority of them have something they dislike about the way their parents raised them. If you want to get an education you can get an education, of course that’s easier said than done but it’s not impossible. My mother’s favourite quote was that I’d never amount to anything. I worked hard at several jobs and put myself through university. It wasn’t easy and I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep for about three years but only a very weak forty year old says it’s their parent’s fault they never made anything of their life.

You can’t hold a grudge

This is another one I’m still leaning today. I don’t think I can ever forgive my mother for some of the things she told me growing up and I’ll have physical and mental scars from her for the rest of my life but as I’ve already mentioned only a very weak adult uses the past as an excuse for the present. There are some things that will be unforgivable but the majority of things need to be left in the past. Now I no longer live at home I have an OK relationship with my mother, it makes me sad that we couldn’t have this mother/daughter relationship when I needed it as a child but I’ll take what I can get now and leave the past in the past.

Jessica grew up to be a happy, well adjusted adult who lived happily ever after (so far) who works as an SEO for a home furniture company

A recent series I watched on TV followed a young British engineer as he traveled around the country on a longboat, celebrating Britain’s industrial heritage. One episode featured the humble tin of baked beans, and in this article I want to cover what this teaches us about goal achievement…

Guy Martin is an engineer and well known bike racer. Well known in bike racing circles that is, I confess I had never heard of him before watching his TV series.

In ‘The Boat That Guy Built’ on the BBC, he wanted to remind people of a 150 year period when British inventions and engineering helped to change the world, to drive the industrial revolution.

He traveled around on his barge, fitting it out using traditional techniques, and I was drawn in by the whole series. One episode featured him making baked beans on toast, so he went right back to the basics and history of the can, making it by hand. This is where the goal achievement lesson comes in…

The patent for the tin can was given in the early 1800s in Britain, and it wasn’t long before it had been sold on and developed, as a way of storing provisions for the army and navy. This was state of the art stuff at the time, rather like NASA inventing ideas for the space program.

Within a few years though, maybe a decade or so, the baked bean had moved from being a novelty food for the posh to a common ingredient, and the tin can had gone from being experimental to being part of everyday life.

It was taken for granted.

150 Years Later

This is all over 150 years ago now, but the lesson we can take today is still fresh…

While it’s possible that your goal may be groundbreaking, it’s more likely that it has been achieved before. Someone, somewhere, will take it for granted. Someone, somewhere, will have gone through the trial and error process and got to the end result.

Yes, it will be new for *you*, there will be learning and set backs, but you can make the journey far easier if you seek out the knowledge of others who have gone before.

You will also have an easier ride of it mentally if you imagine yourself in the position of those who take your goal for granted.

Developing an assurance that your goal will happen, helps to motivate you when you come to step that are wary or nervous about – you’ll be much more confident to take it when you know others have been there before.

So to sum up, the humble tin of baked beans can teach us about trial and error, and it can teach us about repositioning goals in our mind as taken for granted rather than experimental.

I loved Guy Martin’s show, and the next time you are struggling with a goal, open a cupboard and stare at a baked bean tin for some inspiration!

Gordon Bryan is a writer from the UK, who loves writing about goal achievement. Grab his free 8 Step Goal Achievement Formula at http://thegreatgordino.com/free-8-step-goal-achievement-formula

…the air out of a room when you make it all about you.

…the life out of everyone around you when you make it all about you.

…the joy out of every endeavor when you make it all about you.

…the lightness out of every quest when you make it all about you.

…the potential out of every business when you make it all about you.

You fill.

…every room,

…every person,

…every endeavor,

…every quest,

…every business with life, with energy, with potential,

When you make it all about them.

++++

The challenge is to serve, solve and delight from a place of genuine personal interest without relying on the experience to complete you.

Agree, disagree…need more latte?

Reprinted with permission from personal development and marketing blog – JonathanFields.com

I would like to introduce you to Fang Li Yun, a 52-year-old Malaysian pharmacist of 24 years.  She is part of what they call the “Funny Action” project, which helps people learn to laugh and to smile even when there is no good news to smile about.

Like so many other people, Fang Li Yun thought happiness would follow her income, and as a pharmacist she was making good money.

But in 2006 she discovered clowning and discovered there was more happiness to be achieved.  This lead to a mission or pilgrimage of sorts with Hunter Doherty “Patch Adams” and a group of thirty other people from various countries to Mexico last year.  Together they visited patients, the homeless, the elderly, shut-ins and  HIV-infected people while dressed in their best clown attire

What made the biggest difference? In 2008, a friend of hers who was president of a breast cancer  support group, asked her this question: “The happiness a clown brings to people is only momentary. How are you going to make the happiness last?”

Now she teaches people how to laugh: “Everyone is born with the ability to laugh. Laughter is the best medicine and an effective way of fighting illnesses. Based on statistics, babies can laugh up to 400-500 times a day, while adults laugh an average of only 14 to 15 times a day.”

Fringe benefits of clowning around include increased self-confidence and reduced stress. Fang Li Yun discovered that whenever she focuses on making other people happy, she also experiences a surge of joy and forgets all her worries and cares.

And she is still a pharmacist.

This post was included in the That Girl Is Funny Blog Carnival.

It is the rare human being who can maintain confidence 100% of the time. Even the best of leaders experience dips in confidence from time to time, from context to context and from situation to situation.

The key is building your ‘confidence’ muscles.

I believe confidence can be cross-contextual. By that I mean having success in one area of life can be used as a reference point from which we can borrow confidence while we build it in that new area of our personal or professional life.

To raise the bar on your confidence as a leader, I’d like you to offer you 3 concepts to focus that can provide a roadmap for creating higher levels of confidence in whatever endeavor you are embarking on, and especially in your role as a leader:

Certainty – Certainty is defined as the state of being free from doubt or reservation, destined, sure to happen, inevitable, bound to come. Certainty is how confidence is projected by leaders and it’s a skill that also has to be developed along with confidence. Certainty comes from experience and through developing your beliefs and values about yourself, your role as a leader, the world, your organization, the marketplace, etc. One of the key skills to nurture to develop your level of certainty is perspicacity or a keenness of mental perception and discernment, which helps in decision-making and problem solving.

Clarity – Many years ago I attended a workshop by Anthony Robbins and one of the most powerful things he said that day I’ll never forget. His message was “clarity is power.” I’ve learned over the years that is a very true statement. Without clarity its tough to see where you are going and a leader without clarity is not much of a leader.

There are many contexts a in which leader needs clarity, which can be overwhelming.  This is why I want to start at home by having you focus on key areas first to build your confidence and certainty as a leader:

• Your Leadership “Identity”
• Your Strengths
• Your Areas for Growth and Development
• Your Team Strengths and Talents

Capability – This is defined as having power and ability, being efficient and competent. And, there are six fundamental areas leaders need to not just be capable but must master:

• Influencing communication skills
• Visionary thinking
• Decision-making
• Problem-solving
• Delegation
• Emotional Mastery
__________________

This is a guest post by Skip Weisman, The Leadership & Workplace Communication Expert. He helps organizational leaders create high performing, positive work environments with teams of employees who communicate effectively, work successfully together in teams, and who love what they do as they contribute to their organization’s overall purpose. His company, Weisman Success Resources, Inc. is based in Poughkeepsie, NY. You may contact him directly with any questions, or for a complimentary Strategy Session at 845-463-3838 or e-mail to Skip@WeismanSuccesResources.com