Self-Help Happiness Blog

It is the rare human being who can maintain confidence 100% of the time. Even the best of leaders experience dips in confidence from time to time, from context to context and from situation to situation.

The key is building your ‘confidence’ muscles.

I believe confidence can be cross-contextual. By that I mean having success in one area of life can be used as a reference point from which we can borrow confidence while we build it in that new area of our personal or professional life.

To raise the bar on your confidence as a leader, I’d like you to offer you 3 concepts to focus that can provide a roadmap for creating higher levels of confidence in whatever endeavor you are embarking on, and especially in your role as a leader:

Certainty – Certainty is defined as the state of being free from doubt or reservation, destined, sure to happen, inevitable, bound to come. Certainty is how confidence is projected by leaders and it’s a skill that also has to be developed along with confidence. Certainty comes from experience and through developing your beliefs and values about yourself, your role as a leader, the world, your organization, the marketplace, etc. One of the key skills to nurture to develop your level of certainty is perspicacity or a keenness of mental perception and discernment, which helps in decision-making and problem solving.

Clarity – Many years ago I attended a workshop by Anthony Robbins and one of the most powerful things he said that day I’ll never forget. His message was “clarity is power.” I’ve learned over the years that is a very true statement. Without clarity its tough to see where you are going and a leader without clarity is not much of a leader.

There are many contexts a in which leader needs clarity, which can be overwhelming.  This is why I want to start at home by having you focus on key areas first to build your confidence and certainty as a leader:

• Your Leadership “Identity”
• Your Strengths
• Your Areas for Growth and Development
• Your Team Strengths and Talents

Capability – This is defined as having power and ability, being efficient and competent. And, there are six fundamental areas leaders need to not just be capable but must master:

• Influencing communication skills
• Visionary thinking
• Decision-making
• Problem-solving
• Delegation
• Emotional Mastery
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This is a guest post by Skip Weisman, The Leadership & Workplace Communication Expert. He helps organizational leaders create high performing, positive work environments with teams of employees who communicate effectively, work successfully together in teams, and who love what they do as they contribute to their organization’s overall purpose. His company, Weisman Success Resources, Inc. is based in Poughkeepsie, NY. You may contact him directly with any questions, or for a complimentary Strategy Session at 845-463-3838 or e-mail to Skip@WeismanSuccesResources.com

Some songs have the power to motivate.  The lyrics can be as powerful as any motivational speech.  The music can get our hearts pumping.  The words and tune can play in our heads all day long.

Below is a list of some of the best motivational songs (mostly English, some French and Spanish).  It is far, far from being a complete list, so feel free to add your favorites to the list using the comments form at the bottom.

Man in Motion (from St. Elmo’s Fire)

Makin’ It (from the short-lived TV show of the same name)

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

The Greatest Love of All (the ultimate self-esteem song of all time)

Have a Happy (yes, Elvis)

Change of Habit (yes, also Elvis)

I Have Been Blessed (by Martina McBride)

Point of Light (the Randy Travers classic)

My Way (the ultimate classic motivational song by Paul Anka)

Et C’est Pas Fini (the theme song from Star Académie, 1996)

Peace of Mind (by Boston)

Standing Outside the Fire (by Garth Brooks)

Closer to the Heart (Canadian motivation )

Do You Know Where You’re Going to? (from the Mahogany)

There You Are (by Clink Black)

Une Promesse (by Cindy Daniel)

Lean on Me

Dream Never Dies (more Canadian Motivation)

Hold On (by Triumph…the song that helped me in my teen years)

Believe it or Not (from the Greatest American Hero TV show)

Una Cancion (RBD)

Living Out Loud (by Aaron Lines)

The Eye of the Tiger (from Rocky III, I believe)

All Fired Up (Pat Benetar)

Don’t Stop (another one that helped me during those roller coaster teenage years)

The Kid is Hot Tonight (by Loverboy)

If I rummaged through my MP3s, my CDs and my old record collection, I am sure I could find dozens of other motivational songs and possibly even some music that motivates without lyrics.  The one listed here are the ones that come to mind first for me.  But now, over to you.  What songs do you find most motivational?

TWEET this post.

…added January 20, 2009:

What a Feeling (from the movie Flashdance) 

I’m Alive (by ELO)

Hold on Tight (also by ELO)

Walk On (by Rea)

Swing on a Star (was that Bing Crosby)

On Top of the World (by the Carpenters)

I Will Survive (Gloria Gayner’s anthem)

Light in Your Eyes (by Leann Rimes)

We Are the Champions (by Queen)

Winning (by Santana)

Don’t Forget to Dance (by the Kinks)

We Shall Be Free (by Garth Brooks)

Free Will (by Rush)

The Rose (by Bette Midler)

Another Blog Post one from A Daily Dose of Happiness…and this one is ideal to forward to anybody who might be feeling a little down.  Share it with your Twitter and faceBook friends, too.  Some of them will appreicate it… 

Up escalator. Down escalator. No, that’s not the name of a new Dr.
Seuss book. It’s a pairing of two very handy mechanisms that are
both quite necessary. True, we could survive without escalators, but
we would still need to go up and down stairs…you can’t just keep
going up.

In life, we need both ups and downs. If you plan to chase happiness
means that you’ll try to avoid all downs, you are in for trouble.

Downs are inevitable. Things happen that just don’t go your way,
and human beings are hard wired to react. When someone close to you
passes away or just goes away, you are supposed to feel down. When
someone hurts you. When a friend fails. When you fail. When traffic is
particularly thick or your wallet is particularly thin. There are so
many times when you will feel down.

Yes, even the happiest people feel down.

But a happy person does not stay down long. A happy person moves
fairly soon from mourning a loss to celebrating a life. From feeling
like a failure to grasping the lesson and renewing his determination.
From feeling frustrated to just letting the universe unfold.

Up. Down. They are both fine – the question is how long you stay
down.

SPRINGS

We are springs. Everything that knocks us down is a chance to jump up even higher. Every loss is a chance to show that we can bounce back and try even harder.

Every fall is a chance to get back up and show that we won’t be kept down.

Nobody and nothing can defeat us. The only person who can defeat you is you. If you give up, you are defeated. If you persevere, you win. It really doesn’t matter what they throw at you, you are a spring and you can bounce back.

Whatever happens, keep going. If you keep bouncing back, you win!

 This is from a recent Daily Dose of Happiness.

What do you think of those slick posters and coffee mugs with motivational messages on them? Good tools? Too commercial?

What about spirit bottles, filled with nothing but air and a small paper with a simple sentiment, such as “love deeply” or “hang in there”? They are less slick, more down-to-earth and less inspiring perhaps. There is a debate on this over at this self confidence blog.

I have a better suggestion. The best motivational message is the one you write to yourself. I am not saying you can’t buy motivation – every sports team, every movie set, every major company knows you can. But outsourcing your motivational messages is not as effective as writing yourself a personal note and placing it where it is most relevant. Depending on the note, that might be in your car, beside your bathroom mirror or even in your toolshed.

No need to spend $20 on a slick motivational message laser targeted to just you and 100,000 people who are obviously exact replicas of you. Write your own messages and place them where they count.

A couple weeks back, I wrote about aging gracefully.  Today I was reading an interview with William Shatner, and some of what he says resonates, so I thought I would share these three Q&As from the interview.

Q: Do you ever see yourself retiring?

A: Yes, as I slowly draw my last breath–not the shallow ones, where you’re panting and unconscious, but the deep one, where you say, “My God, I’m dying”–I’ll retire.

Q:It was your 77th birthday a few weeks ago.  How did you celebrate?

A: I took one jump in the air and realized I could still do it.

Q: What’s the best thing about getting older?

A: Marveling that the passion’s still there.  And the worst is discovering that on occasion, it’s not.

So keep that passion burning, and you need never grow old…at least not until it’s time to retire.

Watching my parents age, especially my father, is very instructive. OK, that’s the mild term for it. Nobody can watch their parents age without undergoing a whirlwind of emotions.

Just as we see so much of ourselves in our children, even our own hope for the future and carrying on our own legacy, so, too, we see so much of ourselves in our parents and we see them paving a path that bears our name on it, as well.

What I am mostly seeing now is my father unable to climb stairs or lift his foot high enough to get into the bathtub. Yes, simple things. Everyday movements. Things we take for granted without even giving it a second thought.I have never been afraid of dying (although I find it pretty surrealistic trying to imagine a world without me – not being interpreted through my own perspective), but I confess to being afraid of going old. I have always said that I don’t want to slowly waste away – just drop a piano on my head. I don’t even want to see it coming.

Of course, watching my parents lose their mobility stirs certain emotions in me.

But one surprising emotion that has appeared is gratitude. Yes. My father is showing me how blessed I am (and hopefully will remain for another half a century) to be able to walk without even thinking about it. To run. To jump. To chase my kids through the forest. To dig in the garden. To do my morning push-ups. Yes! Whatever you take for granted – that’s what deserves appreciating and cheering for the most.

And he is motivating me like nothing ever has before to keep fit. To not let fatigue or overscheduling keep me from at least carrying on some strength and flexibility exercises. This, too, is a very good thing.

NOTE: A previous article on self-esteem and aging gracefully that I wrote…um…how long ago? Gee, I’m racing toward my aging years a lightening speed!

A quick motivational quote to start your morning from William F. Scolavino:

“The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.”