Self-Help Happiness Blog

Sorry if my spelling is off, but today we will spell “life lessons” with a “W”.

This is my favourite Christmas song, by Alberta country artist Remi Boudreau.

I’ve got enough
I’m completely satisfied
I don’t need stuff
Just this thing that’s true and tried
I don’t need the perfect gift to fit me like a glove
I’ve got enough

Given that we are full-steam into shopping season, this might help us all to keep it real. Watch and listen to the video…

New on this blog is a blog carnival with a twist. This is the first Self-help Comment Carnival, where I share with you a few of the more interesting comments I have left on various blogs over the past week or so.

I loved this quote so much …

A pastor saw a beggar amidst the crowd at a Christian conference he was attending. He felt compassion for him and prayed to God, “Lord, please touch him!” Immediately he felt the Lord speak to his heart, “I will, if you will.”

… that I just had to leave a comment over at City Rescue Mission

When Stacey at The Habit Building Challenge started talking about – you, guessed it – habits, I could not resist putting my oars into the water …

I have always believed this is true, that habits define how we succeed or fail at things. We are creatures of habit and we will do mostly things we are accustomed to, so we better make sure those are good things, positive things, productive things. That’s why when I write my book on happiness, I focused on the habits that can make the biggest difference, mostly negative habits that can and should be turned into positive habits.

I had to agree that Dr. Sahnnon Reese’s Life is Abundant (and all of ours are, too) …

Those are ten great reasons why your life is abundant. Even if you stopped after the first two – I am healthy and strong, and I have what I need – your life is abundant. The rest are all great, too, wonderful bonuses. But the fact that even the “poor” people in North America and Europe are rich beyond the wildest dreams of our great-great-great-great-great-grand-parents is enough to make us abundant.

I could go on and on about materialism run amok, but The Cyber Monday No Show did a pretty good job for me. I just added a few words…

Bravo! The last thing our spoiled-brat society that is drowning in overconsumption needs is a holiday dedicated to shopping. Which, unfortunately, is overshadowing the very holiday on which we are supposed to feel gratitude for our overabundance. When greed battles gratitude, look who wins. People may say with words that they support the Occupy Wall Street protesters, but Black Friday and Cyber Monday prove that they would much rather feed the beast than tame it.

On Accepting Inconveniences as a Part of Life, I added this…

Beautiful. I have always said that the reason we get sick is so as to appreciate our health the rest of the time. And the reason we have winter, is so we can appreciate the summer (I still haven’t reasoned away why we need 5-6 months of winter, but that’s another story).

And I got mushy (no, that doesn’t happen very often!) at Kevin’s 20 Things I’m Thankful for this Thanksgiving post …

Kevin, a wonderful list of things to be grateful for, and I think I see my name between the lines there. I can say wholeheartedly that it goes two ways; the “cyber friends who helped make my blogging career possible” are just as grateful for your ongoing support. It has been said before, but in many ways I feel we are more like a family than folks who work together in offices. We have all the support and none of the office politics. Happy Thanksgiving.

If the title made you think post is more exciting than most…you’re right. Because a song and dance is always exciting.

In one of my my girls’ dance classes, they are rehearsing some of the numbers form Annie, the musical.  The other day, one of them was playing some of the music, and I heard for the first time one of the songs they are NOT dancing to: You’re never fully dressed without a smile!

Who cares what they’re wearing
On Main Street,
Or Saville Row,
It’s what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe
(That matters)

So, Senator,
So, Janitor,
So long for a while
Remember,
You’re never fully dressed
Without a smile!

Annie is a pretty popular musical, so I know many of our readers will be familiar with this one, but it is a wonderfully upbeat song to enjoy one more time. And if you are like me and have never seen Annie, I hope you will enjoy this for the first time.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

This quote by, well, pretty much everybody by now, sums up why we humans are social creatures.

We get food and water and shelter. These things are all necessary; every life form needs them, even dung beetles.

We give love.
We give attention.
We give our help.
We give a smile.
We give hope.
We give trust.
We give…

Yes, that is what makes a life. Don’t just be a dung beetle.

“Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference.”

I like Nolan Bushnell’s take on thoughts versus action. Sure we all need a shower, but don’t stay in there all day. get out and do stuff.

The Buddhist Proverb says:

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.

But how do you know you are walking in the right direction? Here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

Do most of the things I do make people smile, laugh and say “Thank you!”? Or do most of the things I do make people frown, turn away or…or…or nothing?

Do most of the things I do make me a better person – stronger, kinder, smarter, more capable? Or do most of the things I do just kill time and take up space?

When I leave the world, will the world be a better place?

After accounting for all the food I have consumed, all the plastic and metal that have been fabricated for my use, all the trees that have been chopped down for a rook over my head and a seat under my seat, will the total value of my life be positive?

When I die will people cry because they loved me so much? Or because they didn’t get enough inheritance?

You can probably come up with your own questions, too. But it is not the questions that count, nor the answers. It’s what you choose to do with the answers that counts.

Just in case anybody reading this needs a little inspiration, something to give them a kick in the backside, to keep persevering like Frodo did through Mordor even when all hope was gone and he could barely keep his eyes open, here are a few words from Mark Helprin to help:

“From long familiarity, we know what honor is. It is what enables the individual to do right in the face of complacency and cowardice. It is what enables the soldier to die alone, the political prisoner to resist, the singer to sing her song, hardly appreciated, on a side street.”

(And may you never suffer trials as bleak and punishing as those Frodo faced.

I love this quote by Carrie Fisher: “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

She talks about resentment, but I have pretty much said the same thing about anger and blame and hate.  In fact, any negative feelings you hold toward someone else fits this quote well.

Why?

Because negative feelings hurt the feeler.  In very few cases does the other person even know – and if she knows, doesn’t even care – that you hate her or resent her or blame her.  But as long as you feel these things, you are burning up inside.  These feelings are poison, and they will eat away at you – all the more so out of frustration that the other person isn’t dying from the poison you swallow.

Forgive.  You might not be able to forget, but forgive.  Yes, pretty much everything can be forgiven, no matter how odious the crime.

I am not saying that despicable criminals should not be brought to justice.  I am saying that hating and resenting and blaming them won’t bring them to justice – but it will unjustly corrode your own self.

Here is some good advice for young Aspergians (people with the Asperger’s syndrome) that really is just as good for any of us.  Related to Autism, Aspergians find social interaction difficult and might also have motor difficulties and tend to get lost in themselves sometimes.

In his book Be Different: The Adventures of a Free-Range Aspergian, John Elder Robison says:

“Find out what you’re good at and stick with it. In school, a lot of emphasis is put on identifying your weaknesses and then improving them. That’s important if your weaknesses are holding you back, but it’s not the path to greatness.Greatness happens when you find your unique strengths and build upon them. Building up a weakness just makes you less disabled. Building a strength can take you to the top of the world.”