Self-Help Happiness Blog

In a world of multi-tasking and hand-held devices, our moments of laser focus are in danger of extinction. Instead of dedicating our full attention to one thing at a time, we live in a society that promotes the opposite. The idea seems to be that the busier we are, the more productive we’ll be. However, the critical question is, how do we continue to approach our tasks at hand during the busier times?

I have encountered many professionals who are perpetually busy with various projects and aspects of their work, yet, seem to rarely ever make progress. I believe the culprit is multitasking, and the answer is focus management. Contrary to time management and multi-tasking, focus management is a thorough approach to getting things done. It’s about being in the moment and dedicating full attention to the task at hand until it’s complete.

Too often I have found that whenever we come across a large amount of things to do, we tend to fall into a state of desperation, causing us to hit the panic button and scramble our attention. This is when multitasking comes into play. Instead of trying to swallow the elephant within one bite, we need to relax, take a step back and dissect this large, overwhelming task into small individual steps. Once we accomplish this, it is our responsibility to then focus our entire attention on that step, without thinking about the next step until the current one is completed.

Consistency is another vital attribute when it comes to focus management. I believe that focus + consistency = tremendous gains and results. If we manage to set up a focus management plan but lack consistency, we will not get very far in whichever endeavor we pursue. This is one of the reasons why I believe it’s important to break down our tasks into small, individual ones. This gives us the opportunity to accomplish more as well as gain momentum. Once we begin to gain momentum, we will then begin to generate the energy needed in order to achieve consistent results.

This new style of working may sound a little bit awkward for those who are accustomed to multitasking, but I guarantee it is more productive than divvying up your attention. It’s all about making consistent and focused increments towards accomplishing your goals.

This is a guest post by Luis Rosario, the Director of Communications / Event Relations for MorningCoach.com Personal Development Community, an online community that focuses on prosperity & abundance, lifestyle design, quality of life, and motivation. With an educational background in Sociology and Inter-cultural Communications, his mission is to change the world for the better one event at a time!

It was my first meeting of “GA”. This is not AA (Alchoholics Anonymous). It is not even AAA (American Automobile Association). It is GA…Grinches Anonymous. This is roughly how the meeting went.

“Please stand up and introduce yourself,” I was urged by the wall-of-brick bouncer blocking the doorway.

“Uh, OK…” I paused to remember how I had seen them say this on TV at AA meetings. “My name is The Happy Guy, and I am a Grinch.”

The room fell silent. People looked at one another uncertain how to react. Finally, a little old lady spoke up, “Isn’t that somewhat of a conflict of interest, sonny?”

It’s true. The Grinch is not generally seen as the most jovial of fellows. And I am called The Happy Guy. Even my website says that: www.TheHappyGuy.com. But I had to face the unhappy truth. I am a Grinch.

Oh sure, I don’t have lots of cute furry, green skin like famous Grinches can afford. And I can’t seem to twist my face into that famous diabolical grin, no matter how hard I try. Not even when I use a plunger, a blow torch and a porcupine – but that’s another story.

“Tell us, please, what makes you a Grinch,” the moderator suggested.

“I just seem to spoil everybody’s Christmas. They ask me what I want for Christmas…and…and…and I draw a blank. I can’t think of anything.”

The room fell silent. Again. People looked at one another uncertain how to react. Again. Finally, Little Old Lady spoke up (again), “You mean I can have your Christmas presents, sonny?”

I know it is probably hard to believe, but when somebody asks me what I want for Christmas, I just can’t think of anything. It’s like asking me to list the international hopscotch tournaments won by the American Samoa team.

At the moment I am being asked, I just don’t want anything. I always seem to have enough. In fact, I always seem to have more than I need. I have over a hundred music CDs, but when was the last time I played most of them. I’ve given away more books than I’ve read, and I’ve read more than I have.

We have a special machine just to make waffles. And one just to make popcorn. Both of them make prize-winning dust bunnies. And we have a machine just to make bread, which we at least use to make pizza dough. We have glasses and bowls that I would never recognize and some clothes in which I would not want to be recognized.

“Why does that make you a Grinch?” the moderator asked.

“I make it difficult for them to give. What I really want is less, not more. What I really need is for somebody to come and take things away.”

The room fell silent. Again. People looked at one another uncertain how to react. Again. Finally, Little Old Lady passed me a notepad, “Mind jotting down your address for me, sonny?”

What would a Grinch want for Christmas?

My wife suggested socks. Got’m.

Shirts? Got’m.

Nail clippers? Got’m.

Pyjamas? Got’m.

Pens? Got’m.

Bookmarks? Gloves? Paper? Flashlights?

Got’m. Got’m. Got’m. Got’m.

Batteries? There’s an idea. Put me down for batteries. You never know when I might get hungry.

Cologne? Here are the bottles from the last two years. One of them is open. No, wait…that’s just a scratch on the lid.

Isn’t there anything I want?

“Why not ask if they have any ideas you could consider?” the moderator suggested.

“You mean, like hiring them as a consultant on how to give things to me?” I asked.

The room fell silent. Again. People looked at one another uncertain how to react. Again. Finally, Little Old Lady spoke, “Just refer them to me. I want lots of things.”

Why would anybody want more stuff to clean, more stuff to break, more stuff to fix, more stuff to store, more stuff to keep track of, more stuff to trip over? I don’t even know where to put last week’s dirty dishes.

If people keep buying gifts when you already are storing more things than you could ever use, sooner or later your house is bound to explode, the way a balloon bursts when you over-fill it. I wondered if my insurance covered that.

“Couldn’t you humor them? Just a little bit?” the moderator asked.

“Actually, I know one thing I want…a chalet in Switzerland and a map of the best hiking trails in the vicinity.”

The room fell silent. Again. People looked at one another uncertain how to react. Again. Finally, Little Old Lady jumped up and declared, “My bags are packed. When do we leave, sonny?”

I don’t think I’ll ask for a GA membership renewal in my stocking this year. But that is probably what I’ll get.

* This was a rewrite of a column I wrote many years ago – a “new and improved” version. and was featured also in the Festival of Frugality.

This is my favourite Christmas song, by Alberta country artist Remi Boudreau.

I’ve got enough
I’m completely satisfied
I don’t need stuff
Just this thing that’s true and tried
I don’t need the perfect gift to fit me like a glove
I’ve got enough

Given that we are full-steam into shopping season, this might help us all to keep it real. Watch and listen to the video…

New on this blog is a blog carnival with a twist. This is the first Self-help Comment Carnival, where I share with you a few of the more interesting comments I have left on various blogs over the past week or so.

I loved this quote so much …

A pastor saw a beggar amidst the crowd at a Christian conference he was attending. He felt compassion for him and prayed to God, “Lord, please touch him!” Immediately he felt the Lord speak to his heart, “I will, if you will.”

… that I just had to leave a comment over at City Rescue Mission

When Stacey at The Habit Building Challenge started talking about – you, guessed it – habits, I could not resist putting my oars into the water …

I have always believed this is true, that habits define how we succeed or fail at things. We are creatures of habit and we will do mostly things we are accustomed to, so we better make sure those are good things, positive things, productive things. That’s why when I write my book on happiness, I focused on the habits that can make the biggest difference, mostly negative habits that can and should be turned into positive habits.

I had to agree that Dr. Sahnnon Reese’s Life is Abundant (and all of ours are, too) …

Those are ten great reasons why your life is abundant. Even if you stopped after the first two – I am healthy and strong, and I have what I need – your life is abundant. The rest are all great, too, wonderful bonuses. But the fact that even the “poor” people in North America and Europe are rich beyond the wildest dreams of our great-great-great-great-great-grand-parents is enough to make us abundant.

I could go on and on about materialism run amok, but The Cyber Monday No Show did a pretty good job for me. I just added a few words…

Bravo! The last thing our spoiled-brat society that is drowning in overconsumption needs is a holiday dedicated to shopping. Which, unfortunately, is overshadowing the very holiday on which we are supposed to feel gratitude for our overabundance. When greed battles gratitude, look who wins. People may say with words that they support the Occupy Wall Street protesters, but Black Friday and Cyber Monday prove that they would much rather feed the beast than tame it.

On Accepting Inconveniences as a Part of Life, I added this…

Beautiful. I have always said that the reason we get sick is so as to appreciate our health the rest of the time. And the reason we have winter, is so we can appreciate the summer (I still haven’t reasoned away why we need 5-6 months of winter, but that’s another story).

And I got mushy (no, that doesn’t happen very often!) at Kevin’s 20 Things I’m Thankful for this Thanksgiving post …

Kevin, a wonderful list of things to be grateful for, and I think I see my name between the lines there. I can say wholeheartedly that it goes two ways; the “cyber friends who helped make my blogging career possible” are just as grateful for your ongoing support. It has been said before, but in many ways I feel we are more like a family than folks who work together in offices. We have all the support and none of the office politics. Happy Thanksgiving.

It turns out that Ralph Lauren is more than just a fashion designer; he is also a philosopher:

“We all get report cards in many different ways, but the real excitement of what you’re doing is in the doing of it. It’s not what you’re gonna get in the end – it’s not the final curtain – it’s

really in the doing it, and loving what I’m doing.”

Being a parent, I get report cards from my kids all the time.  It is easy to get caught up in the marks.  But it is much more important to make sure my kids are:

A) Doing their best.

B) Excited about learning and improving.

The real report card is whether we are truly living our lives and not just passing through

OK, time to pamper yourself. I mean, if you’ve been working hard to be a better person, to be friendlier and fitter and more generous and more efficient and make whatever improvements you feel you need, take a few moments to pamper yourself. Find something that is in sync with the changes you have made in your life (If you’ve decided to eat healthy from now on, a triple fudge sundae is NOT the right means to pamper yourself).

Pick something that makes you feel special and worthwhile. Perhaps it’s a spa treatment. Perhaps a few hours in a quiet place away from the chaos of kids and the chores of home. It might just be a hot bath with soothing music.

You are special. You do deserve it. So go ahead and pamper yourself.

From today’s Daily Dose of Happiness.

Do you buy greeting cards for the people closest to you? Why not make them instead? Oh, sure, you won’t create a work of art or make some witty saying like those store-bought greeting cards. But it’s not for art or wit that you are giving the card, right?

A hand-made card shows that you took the time to do something special for your loved one. Let me repeat that with the right emphasis: A hand-made card shows that YOU took the time to do something special for your loved one.

You wouldn’t outsource your hugs. You wouldn’t outsource your hand shakes. You wouldn’t outsource your kisses or your smiles or your phone calls. Don’t outsource your greeting cards to some factory somewhere. Make your own and show that they really do come from the heart.  From your heart.

Taken from today’s Daily Dose of Happiness

From today’s Daily Dose of Happiness…

OWNERSHIP

Nothing is truly yours, except your own experiences.

Out here in farm country, I see a lot of signs that read, “This
land is our land; hands off government”. Of course, I know what they
mean, but the fact is that nobody owns the land. “ownership” is a
fairy tale we tell ourselves so that humans don’t harm each other
for use of things.

But the truth is, nobody own the land – not a grain of it. When my
very short tenure on this planet is through, the land will remain.

If I pass down my land to my daughters, someday they too will go. The
land will remain.

But our experiences never leave us. War. Floods. Meteor crashes.
Nothing can take away our experiences. And when we go, we take them
with us.

For my money (Can I call it “my”?), I would rather have dozens of
wonderful experiences that are all mine, than dozens of wonderful
things that never will be.

A paragraph in National Geographic Adventure caught my attention.  This is a tale of leaving the Big Apple to carve out a life in very rural – and isolated – Vermont.

At night, lying in bed with the windows open and ticking off our list of problems, we’d hear a barred owl hooting –”Who cooks for you?”–and be struck by the small scale of our worries. Were we to fade away, Cathy said, that owl would be here anyway, keeping someone else awake with its questioning call, questioning nothing.

Yes, our problems are pretty small.  They just seem big because they are happening to us.  Sometimes it takes the big wide world to put our challenges into perspective.

I came across this over at Live Life Abundantly, so I thought I would share it with you.

He who knows not,

and knows not that he knows not,

is a fool;

shun him.

He who knows not,

and knows that he knows not,

is a child,

teach him.

He who knows,

and knows not that he knows,

is asleep;

wake him.

He who knows,

and knows that he knows,

is wise;

follow him.

~Persian Proverb~