Feb 01
Sorry if my spelling is off, but today we will spell “life lessons” with a “W”.
Archive for the ‘tips’ Category
Jan 26
Debt sucks. It’s like a black hole into which is sucked not just your money, but your freedom as well. I would much rather be owed than to owe. When you are beholden to someone, you are at their mercy. They own you.
In the case of credit card debt and credit line debt and other loans, there is a huge financial implication, but the principle is the same as any other debt. You are beholden to the credit card company or loan issuer, and no matter what else you want to do with your money, you better pay them off first.
Being debt-free is one element in increasing happiness, so paying down debt – especially high-interest credit card debt – is a big practical opportunity. But paying down debt is tough, especially when each month the interest is using up so much of the money you would want to use to pay down the debt.
Enter the balance transfer credit cards. This is typically an offer that would read something like this:
Transfer your credit card to us, and for the next six months you will pay no interest.
Or…
Transfer your credit card to our card, and for the next 12 months you will pay just 1.9 percent interest.
This sounds pretty seductive, especially if you are now paying 14 percent or 16 percent or more. Just think of all the things you could do with that extra $300 or $400 or $500 a month that you will save on interest.
STOP!
Don’t think about “all” the things you can do with the money you save on interest. Think about just ONE thing you can do – pay down the debt.
If you are saving $300 per month, that means you have $300 to pay down the debt. At the end of six months, you will have paid off $1800 of debt. Why is this important? Because at the end of six or nine or 12 months, full interest rate will kick in. If you can pay a lot of the debt down while the balance-transfer effect is on, you’ll be much less indebted in the future and you’ll be much better positioned to continue paying down the debt so that you will never be owned by anybody again.
Dec 15
In a world of multi-tasking and hand-held devices, our moments of laser focus are in danger of extinction. Instead of dedicating our full attention to one thing at a time, we live in a society that promotes the opposite. The idea seems to be that the busier we are, the more productive we’ll be. However, the critical question is, how do we continue to approach our tasks at hand during the busier times?
I have encountered many professionals who are perpetually busy with various projects and aspects of their work, yet, seem to rarely ever make progress. I believe the culprit is multitasking, and the answer is focus management. Contrary to time management and multi-tasking, focus management is a thorough approach to getting things done. It’s about being in the moment and dedicating full attention to the task at hand until it’s complete.
Too often I have found that whenever we come across a large amount of things to do, we tend to fall into a state of desperation, causing us to hit the panic button and scramble our attention. This is when multitasking comes into play. Instead of trying to swallow the elephant within one bite, we need to relax, take a step back and dissect this large, overwhelming task into small individual steps. Once we accomplish this, it is our responsibility to then focus our entire attention on that step, without thinking about the next step until the current one is completed.
Consistency is another vital attribute when it comes to focus management. I believe that focus + consistency = tremendous gains and results. If we manage to set up a focus management plan but lack consistency, we will not get very far in whichever endeavor we pursue. This is one of the reasons why I believe it’s important to break down our tasks into small, individual ones. This gives us the opportunity to accomplish more as well as gain momentum. Once we begin to gain momentum, we will then begin to generate the energy needed in order to achieve consistent results.
This new style of working may sound a little bit awkward for those who are accustomed to multitasking, but I guarantee it is more productive than divvying up your attention. It’s all about making consistent and focused increments towards accomplishing your goals.
This is a guest post by Luis Rosario, the Director of Communications / Event Relations for MorningCoach.com Personal Development Community, an online community that focuses on prosperity & abundance, lifestyle design, quality of life, and motivation. With an educational background in Sociology and Inter-cultural Communications, his mission is to change the world for the better one event at a time!
Nov 21
Three Tips for Happiness After the Car Crash
friendship, health, positive thinking, stress, tips Add commentsImagine you are driving down the road, half paying attention, half listening to the radio or reviewing the grocery list in your mind or steaming over some injustice at work or doing whatever you usually do while driving. (Yes, most people pay only half attention while driving down a familiar road.)
All of a sudden you see something happen on the road. There is a car or a truck or a bus that is spinning out of control. Or traffic has suddenly – very suddenly! – come to a screeching halt. Or you hear the sound of CRASH! right behind you. Before you even have time to react, you feel the sudden lunge of your car as it is hit or as it hits something else.
It all happens so fast, you can’t even be sure what happens. But you are in pain. The details will vary from crash to crash, but such are the stories of people filing claims for personal injury. Even in cases of whiplash, people don’t always know what happened, because it usually hits them from behind. People filing claims due to whiplash might not even remember all the details, because the pain might not kick in for a few days.
Their stories may differ, but their emotions don’t.
- Crashes place stress on a person.
- Injury places stress on a person.
- The legal system places stress on a person.
Happiness After Personal Injury
There are ways to rebuild your happiness after the crash. Here are a few tips to recover emotionally:
Call in the troops.
Your friends and family are there to support you, so now is the time to ask for help. Let them help you consider your options. let them listen to your thoughts and feelings. let them laugh with you – yes, go out and have some fun with friends and family. Do things that are less painful, of course, but you need positive company to regain your strength.
Dive deep.
You are wonderful. Yes, I am talking to you. Whether you are hang gliding off the coast of Madagascar or sitting in pain on your sofa at home, you are wonderful. The crash is just a situation; it is not you. The pain is just a situation; it is not you. The legal process is just a situation; it is not you. What really counts is you – who you are deep inside. Focus on yourself, on who you are, on your values. These have not changed. This is your rock.
Look ahead.
In most cases, the pain will go away and the injury will heal. Or, you will learn to cope with the pain and manage your life with the injury. Sooner or later the lawyers will leave and hopefully you will have the extra money that you need to put your life back together. Imagine yourself past the trauma, part the anger – really, close your eyes an envision enjoying life when the doctors and lawyers have packed up their bags and gone.
Oct 17
How to Get Through Life’s Holes and not Get Stuck in Them!
The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is about resiliency. One of the most consistent characteristics of people who report high levels of life satisfaction and happiness is resilience: having the ability to bounce back from life’s setbacks, grow from challenges and transform stress into success.
The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is a self-help book that will be released in mid October. This whimsical yet informative self-help book uses Swiss Cheese as a metaphor for life itself. Life is not predictable and smooth like cream cheese. Our lives are really more like Swiss with all its distinctive holes, and without the holes, there would be no Swiss! Our lives, likewise, have inevitable “holes,” and “imperfections,” yet these holes give us our unique character and depth.
It’s a fact that the larger the holes of the Swiss, the sweeter and more distinctive the cheese. What an analogy to our lives! We develop resiliency by overcoming challenges and obstacles. By moving through life’s holes rather than getting stuck in them, we become stronger.
Besides, the holes of the cheese are called eyes, so it is the holes in our lives that allow us to “see more clearly” and develop insight. Swiss Cheese with no holes is called blind Swiss – and you wouldn’t want to live with your eyes closed like this cheese in denial!
There are ten takeaways from “The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life” that can empower you and help you build resiliency skills:
- Fondue Can Never Turn Back into a Block of Cheese. Give up the habit of looking back with regret – there are no do-overs and by focusing too much about the past and what can’t be changed will keep you stuck in a hole!
- There is No Such Thing as a Perfect Slice of Cheese. Give up the need for perfection. Besides, the road to success is paved with mistakes and failures.
- No “Whine” with the Cheese, Please! Pity Parties are over-rated. Strive to look at things more rationally and positively. The Swiss Cheese Motto is: Think Straight and Feel Great!
- If the Cheese is Ripe, Dig In! Be Proactive, not Reactive! The more you feel in control of your actions and reactions, and do not “wait” for things to happen, the more empowered and effective you will be.
- Live ‘Whole’ Despite the Holes. Focus on developing mindfulness and spirituality with the intent of being present-focused.
- Enjoy the Wine and Cheese Party! People who connect with others, give and receive social support, are happier than people who are isolated. As the old Bell Telephone commercials said: Reach out and touch someone!
- Be like Cheese-Lite! Develop health and wellness through exercise, healthy eating, and good lifestyle habits. Welcome wellness for a healthier YOU!
- Slice the Cheese Wheel of Life. Get organized, prioritize and delegate so that you can achieve a healthy lifestyle balance. Don’t let time divide you – learn to divide your time and energy in a way that makes you feel balanced.
- Master the Cheese Wheel of Change. Embrace change, be flexible, and strive to be a Stress Manager and not a Stress Carrier!
- Smile and Say “Cheese”!
Focus on developing a positive outlook and healthy optimism, while you work on healing resentments, focusing on forgiveness, and striving to replace negativity with gratitude.
These ten areas of resiliency are important in every aspect of our lives, and embracing these delectable takeaways from The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life will give you the pungency and flavor of a complete and meaningful life!
Psychotherapists and wellness speakers Judy Belmont and co-author Lora Shor offer videos and self-tests, and book information on their website, http://www.theswisscheesetheoryoflife.com, where you can download the first two chapters of their upcoming book. Judy can be reached at JABelmont@theswisscheesetheoryoflife.com
Aug 22
This is sort of like a guest post, in that somebody else did all the writing. It’s a great sign about living your passion, and I thought I would share it with you.
This post was featured in the Effortless Abundance blog carnival.
Jul 13
My family enjoys our happiest times when we are sharing mutual interests. Being the mother of two teenage sons, it is up to me to try to stay up-to-date with their interests, because they sure aren’t going to make the effort with mine. However, I have found that not only did I become closer to my sons by doing this, I also broadened my horizons and truly enjoyed many of their favorite things.
Here are some of the things you can do to better connect with your family:
1. Watch their favorite television shows
This is one of the best things you can do. Because television series are continuing, this can lead to ongoing conversations that can last for months or even years. You might also discover some great TV series that you never would have tried (My family used to talk for hours on end about Lost). (See 20 Best TV Shows for Parent / Teen Bonding).
2. In addition to watching your teenagers favorite films, introduce them to classic films that they would enjoy
There are so many great teen movies from the eighties that your teens would love and so many classic movies from throughout the years that they are ready to see now. Even if they prefer to watch them with their friends, you can still have great discussions with your teens about the movies the next day. (See 75 Classic Movies Teens Should See ).
3. Share music and video games with Guitar Hero or Rock Band
The Guitar Hero and Rock Band series of video games have been one of the best games to ever bring parents and teenagers together. Many teens first discovered classic rock through these games. Later versions began including new rock songs, which parents could then learn. An entire family can play at once as different band members.
4. Share Young Adult Books with your teens, adults love many of them also
I’ve become a big fan. I devoured the Harry Potter and Twilight series and just read and couldn’t put down The Hunger Games series, the hot new series that is coming out with its first movie next year.
5. Communicate with your teens through the type of technology they prefer
Most teens prefer text messages to phone calls. They will more happily respond to you if you contact them by the method of their choice. (See Text Messaging with Your Teens ).
Guest blogger Jennifer Wagner is the creator and writer of the blog, Connect with your Teens through Pop Culture and Technology, where you can keep up-to-date of TV, books, movies, music, gadgets, the Internet, websites, education , and all things teenage.
Jun 15
Living With A Bipolar Parent
choices, confidence, family, motivation, positive thinking, sadness, self help, tips Add commentsFirst off I should say that my mother was never diagnosed as bipolar but looking back as an adult, lots of research, some basic education in psychology and after speaking to trained professionals I believe it’s a very accurate diagnosis. Your parents and family are meant to be there for you no matter what, they should support you and encourage you and you should always feel safe and protected by them but if you’re growing up with a family member who has any psychological or mental illness 
this is very rarely the case. You feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells, you know they’ll be good days but at the same time you know they’ll be bad days too.
You can’t live your life around them
It’s not fair to live your whole life like you’re walking on egg shells but this is sometimes unavoidable. You know it can only take the smallest thing to trigger a storm but at the same time your home life needs to be somewhere you can relax. One thing I found helped was to have a kettle with some powder milk, tea, coffee and sugar in my room and a small box of snacks. Hiding away in your room shouldn’t have to be the answer but if this happens more often than not you need to make sure it’s as comfortable as possible. It’s their house too but there is a very large degree of irrationality to mental illnesses in that they’ll take it out any mood swings on the first thing they’ll see. If you’re not under their nose your life will be easier.
You need a release
No matter if it’s just a half an hour walk round your neighbourhood or you join a local club or activity group find something away from home and away from school that can take your mind off things even if it’s just for an hour or two a week. If you like listening to music really study it and learn to produce it yourself or dance to it. I was never fanatically into music but there were some songs that really had prominent lyrics to me that helped. Reading is also another good way to lose yourself for a few hours.
Look forwards not backwards
This is one I’ve learned with hindsight. Nothing is forever; you’ll grow up, move out and live your own life one day. For now it sucks and there’s a good chance tomorrow is going to suck too but next year or the year after it will get better. Find one thing you’re looking forward to that’s not too far away, going out with your friends, a holiday or even a shopping trip anything that you can concentrate on to take your mind off today. If you have nothing coming up over the next few weeks arrange something.
You can’t blame them for your life
This is one you need to learn as soon as possible and it took me a long time to learn and I’m still learning it today. You can storm around as a teenager and get away with it because ‘my mother never loved me’ but as an adult it’s quite pathetic. You are your own person, with your own personality and ultimately responsible for your own decisions and your own destiny. You might look at your friends who come from loving ‘conventional’ families but the chances are the majority of them have something they dislike about the way their parents raised them. If you want to get an education you can get an education, of course that’s easier said than done but it’s not impossible. My mother’s favourite quote was that I’d never amount to anything. I worked hard at several jobs and put myself through university. It wasn’t easy and I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep for about three years but only a very weak forty year old says it’s their parent’s fault they never made anything of their life.
You can’t hold a grudge
This is another one I’m still leaning today. I don’t think I can ever forgive my mother for some of the things she told me growing up and I’ll have physical and mental scars from her for the rest of my life but as I’ve already mentioned only a very weak adult uses the past as an excuse for the present. There are some things that will be unforgivable but the majority of things need to be left in the past. Now I no longer live at home I have an OK relationship with my mother, it makes me sad that we couldn’t have this mother/daughter relationship when I needed it as a child but I’ll take what I can get now and leave the past in the past.
Jessica grew up to be a happy, well adjusted adult who lived happily ever after (so far) who works as an SEO for a home furniture company
Jun 09
Many writers find it hard to be happy in their jobs. For most of them, it is their means to feed their mouths, put a roof over their heads, and pay their bills. In other words, writing is reduced to being an obligation and not the craft they used to love. Are you one of these writers?
Believe it or not, writing can be your source of joy and inspiration too. it can be your means of venting out different feelings and stress. You may be one of the writers who are currently experiencing a rough patch.
Don’t worry. The road to happiness is just near. Get through writer’s depression through the 5 simple tricks below:
- Read, read, and read. Reading works of other writers can and will inspire you to write and move others. You can also acquire ideas for your post through reading. Even skimming through posts in a newspaper can help too.
Reading can help expand your horizon so if you want something that’s in-depth, try reading books from authors like Ernest Hemingway or contemporaries from Paulo Coelho. Pick anything that you like best. It can be a piece or book that you have already read or something new.
- Write something that hits close to home. writing something that directly affects you is easier because you have emotions or feelings about the subject that you can use. it’s just like pouring out your heart and soul to a diary or a close friend.
Or better yet, just tap on any subject that you want to discuss. Come up with anything that interests you and write something about it. this way, you are very eager to research about the subject and finish the article with ease because you are “into” the subject.
- Trust that you can do it. you will face many stumbling blocks in your writing career. Editors, webmasters, or article directories will reject your articles. Or you may be reprimanded by your boss for failing him.
Being a writer is tough. But if you believe in yourself and what you can do, you will be able to pull this off. Also remember that you will not appreciate success without failures. It is normal to fail so enjoy it.
- Push yourself to the limits. All writers experience writer’s block. This is inevitable. If you find yourself in this position, stand up and take a break. Inhale, exhale. Relax and calm your mind. Then go back to your monitor and start writing again. Just type in anything. You will find that creative juice will start to flow in no time.
- Be contented with your work. Most writers are never happy with themselves because they are never contented in their output. I am guilty of this. Very guilty. I found out that this only stresses me out. The point here is that we have to be forgiving of ourselves. we berate ourselves because we want to give out the best or the perfect article that will impress or at least please everyone. The truth is not everyone will find your article impressive because this is subjective. The important thing is that, at the end of the day, you know that you did everything that you can to give the best output.
Writers, failing is inevitable. This is completely normal. What’s important is that you learn to stand up and forgive yourself. Exercise the five tips in this post to keep yourself happy.
Good luck fellow writers!
Author’s bio: Marcy Gray is a writer who strives to reach out to other writers just like her. She also writes about baby care products such as the first years wave stroller and britax b ready stroller. She has been working in the baby care industry for three years now.
May 10
Life is crazy isn’t it? And sometimes being happy and content just seems impossible. Life is hard, long, and at times painful. But the good news is that it is possible to find joy and be happy. It really is. Here are a few tips that can change your dreary day into sunshine and smiles. And you can make that happen.
• Realize that rain falls. When you accept that life will and does get tough and sometimes for entire season you can smile. Sure ,what you are experiencing may be really painful and even difficult, but those very things can help you grow. Know that this life will be filled with hard things but strive to overcome them and look for the light on the other side. You really can smile even in a thunder storm. Remember that things don’t stay the same and seek to learn all you can about yourself and other people when life hurts and feels unfair.
• Smile at a stranger. Take the time to care about other people. Even people you don’t know. It really is true that even small things like smiling are not only helpful. They are contagious. Be kind to the grumpy salesperson, let the rude driver pass you and buy a coffee for the person you don’t even know. Why? Just because you can. Make the world a better place.
• Forgive and move on. Most of us carry around hurts from the past. Some are huge and some go way back into our childhood. But guess what? You gotta move on. Don’t dwell on the past. You don’t have to forget or give up boundaries to protect yourself from an unhealthy relationship but letting go and forgiving can do wonders to your heart. Realize all the wrong and hurt you have caused, yes maybe even back in elementary school. Give grace to people and let yourself heal and grow by forgiving.
• Slow down. We all move way too fast in life. Sure there is a lot to see and many responsibilities but busyness steals away from the simple joys of life. Take time to visit that grandparent, pick up the phone and call a friend you miss. Pause and see the new flowers budding in the middle of the city. Open a door for someone or simply slow down when walking to your next destination. Cancel meetings that don’t need to happen, hug that little one that is changing by the minute, sip your coffee and quit making your schedule so full. Enjoy the time you have been given. Life moves fast. Don’t miss it. You know there are no dress rehearsals so get it right the first time.
• Be grateful for where you are at. Even if you are in a terrible divorce, have been wronged by a boss, or are grieving a major loss, seek to find the good. It may feel impossible and against what you want to do but you can choose to focus on the positive. Even in the worst of situations there are things to be grateful for. How about a healthy child? Food to eat? A family or even one person who loves you? Be happy and thankful for the big and small things you have in life. If you focus on what isn’t or what you don’t have you will only make life exasperating and no fun. Each day seek to focus on what you have to be grateful for. In fact, why not make a journal. You can do that right now. List all you can rejoice about. It may be as simple as a new bloom on a flower, or a hot shower, but even these little things will help your heart enjoy the life you have been given.
Try these things and see that happiness is right in front of you!
This is a guest post by Diane Johnson, who primarily writes about online classes and anything else that interests her. She enjoys traveling, reading, and sports.