Self-Help Happiness Blog

Yes, travel opens the mind to new ideas and new ways of seeing things.  And when we experience the wonders of this world, it can’t help but make a person happy.  And some travel opens the mind more than others.  For instance, if you take a tour of seven cities in seven days and stay in hotels, you will find you are passing your time with others from your country and seeing the sights, but not experiencing the people and the way of life.

On the other hand, if you do some work travel or stay in private homes, you are more likely to experience the real flavor of the place.

I took Little Lady for a trip to Hungary, where we saw some of the places her Nagymama grew up.  For a girl of (almost) seven, this was a very educational trip.  We stayed in an apartment and wandered pretty much on our own.  I would classify this as mid-way between a our and a real visit.  Just for fun, here are a few photos.

This is the moment she professes to be the highlight of her trip:

Even though I could tell that it was dancing to the street musicians…

And making new friends…

…even though she could not speak Hungarian with them…

…any of them!

But it was the dancing that she did the most. This was her favorite street musician, whom she patronized several times where Vaci Uta spills into Vorosmarty Ter.

She was a little less freewheeling with the food (can you say “McDonald’s” or “Pizza Hut”?), but we did enjoy palacsinta a few times together.

The May / June edition of No Limits Magazine features a story by somebody I know well…me!  It came as a surprise, but it was arranged by my Australian publisher, where you can pick up a copy of 9 Habits of Happiness if you live in Australia or in New Zealand.

The story, by the way, is one of my favorites from a few years back, when we ran into some unexpected adversity on what should have been a highlight of our honeymoon…and how we turned things around (so it ended up being a highlight of our honeymoon, despite the Wicked Witch Stella!).

The story is just one of many tales I weaved into the book. 

Good news? Bad news? It all depends on how you look at things.

Consider the following factual news that could send a pessimist around the bend and over the edge:

POVERTY: Almost half of the world’s population earns a below-average income.

ILLITERACY: If current trends continue, by 2022 almost every child born will be illiterate.

DISEASE: Fully 98 percent of people are at risk of getting cancer.

DEATH: By 2060, at current mortality rates, two out of every three people in the world will be dead.

See? It pays to be optimisitc, no matter how bleak the news might seem.

New Brunswick has done it again, once more making happiness news.  Maclean’s reports that Saint-John is home to Canada’s happiest people.  In 2007, New Brunswick scored happiest among Canadian provinces in the Relative Happiness Index.

I am sure this will help boost their moods as they clean up after the unusual spring floods.

Look at how many people live on less than $2 per day!  This is incredible.  Imagine living on what would buy you no more than a handful of rice and beans and perhaps a glass of milk.  No clothes.  No shelter.  No vehicle.  Not even Internet access.

OK, that’s not completely true.  Many of these people have makeshift houses they build themselves.  And many of them have access to in-season fruits and vegetables.  And most do have some meager clothing.  But none of them will be reading this — even those who can read — because Internet is not something even within their world.

Do I mention this to make you sad?  No, quite the contrary.  You should feel lucky, blessed, fortunate and generous as a result of the blessings you have.  Enough of the “if only I had…” or “if only I could…” or “I just have to get one of those…”  We are all living in the lap of luxury, even most of those who are labeled “poor” have more than the majority of people living today, and an even greater majority of people living throughout history.

In a recnt Daily Dose of Happiness I wrote:

SAFETYHaving just read an article in Maclean’s called “Butchers and Monsters”, about how the Chinese government bullies the people in the territory it controls, I am reminded of how lucky I am to live where and when I do. I know most of our readers share that luck, but not all.It’s not just that this is a safe place, but also it is a safe time. Most people throughout history have had to live in the shadows of a bully ruler who could pretty much do whatever he chose with peasants in territory he controlled.  Most people throughout history have had to live in fear that a village or kingdom or principality nearby or farther
away would invade, loot or otherwise destroy their village.Those of us with the good fortune to be living in times of peace in the land of people will never be able to truly understand how it is to live looking over your shoulder.  But let us be grateful that we will never truly understand.

This edition drew a number of interesting comments.  Some were political, such as whether Western media is reporting China with bias and opinions on illegal immigration, which are interesting topics but beside the point.  Others addressed the heart of the topic, essentially questioning the notion that we live in relatively fear-free times/place.  I would like to share a couple of them with you here.

You forget about those who live with sick and mean people. I look over my shoulder 24/7 where I live, for fear of being yelled at, evicted for the flip of a hat reason, chased down hallways… I’m 24 and going to school to better myself so I can leave. Sure, we live in a free country but not all of us live in a free home.

To which I replied…

That is true.  There is no escaping the various characteristics of individuals.  Still, consider that you can go to school.  In Afghanistan, women are still trying to get that simple right, and facing incalculable risks as a result, in many cases from within their own home, nut also from death squads roaming the countryside hunting down women who dare to pose as humans.

Which resulted in…

Wow, well I guess you make a good point.. I have read about those women, and my heart breaks at the injustice of it. I do have a crappy home life, but it is true that I am not being killed for trying to better my situation — just put through the ringer in the process, is all. Thank you for the perspective. 

Another response from a reader was this one.

Hello “The Happy Guy”I’m responding to your email because I really don’t believe in what you said below – that we here in Canada are all safe.  I think we tend to take that for granted.  I used to think that before 9/11 happened. The people who lost their lives during the 9/11 crisis thought they were safe too.  With our biggest ally at war right now, we never know who
El-Qaida (sorry, I don’t know how to spell it) will hit next and how many people will die.

Yes, I agree that we are way better off than Chinese citizens and many other parts of the world, but are we truly safe?  Think about it.

To which I replied…

There is no such thing as complete safety.  A comet could enter our atmosphere tomorrow and wipe out all life on earth.  The shock over 9/11 is testament to how safe we are, how we can sit back and relax and enjoy life without constant fear.  When something like this does happen, it’s such an aberration that, in addition to the sadness at the loss of life, there is a total shock that it could even happen here.  We really are blessed to be able to live day to day without much fear of being butchered, raped and pillaged, and that we can say pretty much whatever we wish and choose to do pretty much whatever we wish without being brutally assaulted by soldiers or guards for so-doing.

I hope this gives people some additional food for thought, as I believe appreciation is paramount for happiness.
 

Pity us 40-somethings.  We are are at the low dip of a U of happiness, according to the latest research. 

In our 20s we feel there is a big prize to be gained and we rush out into the world gung-ho, conquistadors chasing the gold.

In our 40s, we realize there is no prize, at least not for us.  We won’t be Prime Minister or star quarterback or super model or even just filthy rich. We are at that point where we reflect upon all our failures and why we didn’t make something of our lives.

In our 60s comes reflective wisdom, where we realize that the prize didn’t matter anyway, because that’s just not what life is all about

Read more about the sudy conducted at Warwick University and Dartmouth College here.

Jeanne Malmgren tries to define happiness, but she finds it’s not that easy.  The article raises some interesting questions about why certain countries rank higher in happiness than others.  But in the end, she answers her own questions: “But you and I both know that happiness isn’t really about where you are.” 

That’s right.  One time I thought I could never be happy if I could not see a tree outside my window, but it was in our tiny Toronto Condo, where all you could see from the window was concrete, glass and bricks, that I wrote my book about happiness.  

In real estate, it might be location, location, location, but when it comes to happiness, it is all about you, you, you.

By the way, about the title to this blog post…I did not say that homelessness is happiness. 

Say what you want about Franc e, but it has just become the first Western nation to seriously consider a “happiness index”.

“We must change the way we measure growth,” President Sarkozy says of his plans to engage two Nobel prize winning economists in the effort to build an alternative to gross national product (GNP), which might look a bit like gross national happiness . 

Read the whole story here.